So Hard To Say Goodbye
by chry22
Summary: Saying goodbye is never easy, but when Rory left Logan, she thought she made the right decision. What happens when old friends and long lost memories come back? Rogan
1. It Will Never Be Over

**A/N: I apologize if this chapter is so short. I've already written other chapters that are way longer than this one. Please let me know if you'd like me to continue posting this story. **

She arched her back as he began leaving a trail of kisses on her neck. She loved the scent of his cologne, feeling him so close to her. She buried her hands in his blonde and soft hair as he continued his ministrations. His lips left her neck and without letting her time to protest, he attacked her mouth in a breathtaking kiss. While still kissing him, she began fumbling at the buttons of his shirt until she succeeded in her mission and proceeded in taking it off. She ran her hands down his back and when he started kissing her collarbone, she moaned his name.

"Logan".

That's when everything stopped.

He quickly looked up at her, all lust gone, waiting for an answer. What pissed him off even more, was the fact that it actually took her a moment to realize what was wrong. Her bright blue eyes were filled of guilt and regret for what she had just said. She opened her mouth to say something but he didn't leave her time to explain herself. In fact, he didn't want to hear any excuse.

"Save it."

His words came out harsh, but he didn't care. He wanted to hurt her just like she had hurt him by saying that damn name.

He rolled off of her and got off the bed. He searched for his black shirt on the bed and put it back on, his fingers shaking with rage as he desperately tried to button it up. She quietly observed his every movement from her sitting position on the bed, waiting for him to yell and scream at her. Instead, his reaction surprised her as he picked up his jacket and without looking at her, he headed for the front door.

"Jess, wait!"

She quickly got off the bed, stumbling in the process, giving up searching for her slippers in the darkness of the room. But it was too late. When she opened the door, she found nothing but the lonely corridor, lightened by dim lights.


	2. Broken Hearts

She didn't know how long she had been sitting there on the couch, waiting for him to come back. She tried hard not to think about what happened, but only to find the right words to say to excuse herself with Jess. However, they didn't come. Her mind was constantly on her ex-boyfriend, the one who cheated on her but who also loved her.

_He jumped as he heard a door being slammed hard. Wiping the tiredness away from his eyes, he tried to regain his strength and got off the bed, searching for the source of the sudden noise. By the time he was on his feet, his head was spinning, the effects of the alcohol already kicking in. From where he stood next to the bed, he saw her frantically searching something on the floor. She was looking everywhere, under the couch, under the table. _

"_What have you lost?" he asked, coming closer to her. _

_She ignored her question as she kept on searching. _

"_Ace."_

_Again, she acted as if he wasn't there and started looking somewhere else._

"_Ace." He lightly touched her shoulder and she immediately jerked away from him. _

"_What do you want?" She was angry, upset, furious, hurt, broken. Too many feelings altogether to be summed up in a single one. He heard them all in her voice, so distant and cold from her usual one. _

"_What are you looking for?" _

_Knowing he won't leave her alone without an answer, she finally gave in. _

"_My phone. I'm searching for my damn phone."_

_Without adding anything else, he walked towards the bedside table and returned with her silver phone in his hand. She quickly took it from him and after stuffing it in her bag, she reached for her suitcase that was right next to the closet on the floor. _

"_Rory, I'm sorry."_

_He knew his words wouldn't probably change anything, but he would have tried. He loved her, and he won't let her go away without clearing things up. However, she wasn't on the same opinion as she was clearly giving him the silent treatment. _

"_Rory."_

_She kept on stuffing her clothes haphazardly in the suitcase lying on the unmade bed._

"_I'm sorry for what I did. I never meant to hurt you. I thought we were broken up and I really was lonely without you that I…I didn't think. They happened to be there, I've know them forever and…"_

"_Do you really think that this justify your behaviour?"_

_He stopped for a moment, surprised at her question. He wasn't expecting her to answer. _

"_No, it didn't. But Rory, I've never cheated on you, I've never looked at another girl while I was with you because I love you. You know I do."_

"_That was a great way of showing it."_

"_Ace…"_

"_Don't call me like that ever again. After you cheated on me, you really expect me to forgive you and stay?"_

"_This wouldn't have happened if…"_

"_Don't bring that story up again, Logan. It wasn't Jess' fault, you started mocking him."_

"_I didn't mock him. It's not my problem if he was jealous."_

"_He was jealous?" she asked, incredulity evident in her voice. "You were the one who was jealous!"_

"_You are my girlfriend and he was checking you out."_

"_I was your girlfriend, not your property."_

"_He was annoyed when we went out all together. It was clear that he wanted to remain alone with you."_

"_He is my friend. There's nothing wrong with that."_

"_Yes, but he was also your boyfriend."_

"_You're being paranoid." She resumed putting her things in the suitcase, and started closing it. _

"_I'm merely being realistic. Why did he come here?"_

"_What difference does it makes?"_

"_We both know why he came here. To have you back, right?"_

"_It doesn't matter anymore."_

"_Yes, it does to me. To us." He said the last word softly, his eyes sparkling with hope as he looked at her. _

"_There is no us. Not anymore."_

_He didn't know what to do, if laughing or crying. _

"_I'll return your key after the movers will have all my stuff moved out of here."_

_She took the suitcase from the bed and slowly carried it through the room. Cursing the weight of the suitcase, she tried to open the door when his voice stopped her. She didn't, however, turn around. _

"_I love you, Rory." _

_His voice was low, gentle and caring like it had always been. _

"_I don't." _

The sudden opening of the front door interrupted her trail of thoughts. She looked up at Jess, her eyes brimming with tears. As if she wasn't there, he went to the bathroom and came out several minutes later, his hair damp from the shower. She wiped at her eyes, desperately trying to stop the tears from falling.

"Jess."

As expected, no reply came from him. He kept going back and forth, ignoring her all the while.

"Jess, talk to me. Please."

He stopped when she lightly touched his arm. He was so absorbed in shutting her out that he hadn't even noticed that she was standing right next to him.

"Leave me alone."

"I'm sorry."

"Sure you are." He retorted bitterly.

"I didn't mean to say it. It just…"

That's when he turned around to face her, and that's when she stopped.

"It just what? Slipped out? Like this, casually, when we were about to have sex?"

"I'm sorry."

"For what? For having mistakenly said his name or for having said it aloud?"

"What?"

"I'm not stupid, you know. It _didn't_ just slip out. You were thinking of him."

"I wasn't." She replied, although her voice wasn't totally convincing.

"Really? Then why did you say his name? You didn't realize I was the one kissing you?"

"Jess…"

"Don't keep saying you're sorry Rory, just answer my question. Do you still love him?"

This time she looked away, not being able to meet his questioning eyes. _Do I still love him? _The answer frightened her even more than she thought it could. She had tried to forget him for all this time, and then she said his name. While she was making out with her current boyfriend. Suddenly, all the questions that she has been trying to avoid for the past months came back in her mind.

"What are you even doing here if you don't love me?"

"I do."

"You keep saying that but you've never told me once that you love me."

"You know why."

"I _thought_ I knew why. What happened today changed it all."

She was still staring at the floor when he strolled next to her. He reaches for the bedroom, slamming the door behind him. That moment she couldn't do anything to stop the tears from falling freely on her face. She leaned heavily against the nearby wall and slowly slid down, feeling what was left of her strength leaving her.

She felt so confused.

_She was talking to her mother about what had just happened with Logan when she heard someone knocking on the door. Hanging up the phone with the promise of calling her again later, she headed for the door. _

_On the other side stood Colin and Finn, Logan's best friends as well as her friends. _

_She noticed how they were closely looking at her, and then realizes that she hadn't washed her face since she had returned to Paris' apartment. She could feel her eyes puffy, and she could tell they were also red from all the crying. _

"_Can we come in?" Colin asked her gently._

_She stepped aside, silently letting them in. She knew very well why they were there, but she didn't want to talk about it. Memories of her happy times with Logan were still fresh in her mind. _

_She offered them something to drink, which they politely refused. She didn't know how to act; she had never felt so uncomfortable in her life. _

"_We went to see Logan and he told us what happened."_

_She didn't look at them, she couldn't. _

"_Now, we don't usually do this. For this, I mean bugging Logan's girls but with you is different. You are different."_

"_I'm not different. I'm just another girl who stupidly fell under Logan Huntzberger's spell. That's it."_

"_No, Rory. You're not some random girl to him. He loves you."_

"_He cheated on me and let me walk into a room full of girls he's had sex with. This isn't showing love."_

"_I'm not justifying his actions, I am only saying that maybe you should hear him out."_

"_We already talked."_

"_Well, maybe…"_

"_He's the one who hurt me!"_

"_I know, love. But we've known Logan for many years and he was never this upset about a girl. He never looked so broken."_

"_What did he expect? That I acted as if nothing happened?"_

"_You've been crying, Rory. You're hurt and upset just like him."_

She woke up when she heard the thunder outside followed by heavy rain. The window was still slightly opened and a cold breeze was starting to envelope her warm body. But she was too exhausted to pick up something to cover herself with.

She could go to bed and snuggle next to Jess like she has been doing for the past months. Since she graduated from Yale, her days have always been the same. She would wake up, go to work and then come back home.

Her life at college became hectic and challenging when one Logan Huntzberger helped her with her article on the life and death brigade. At first, she thought just like everyone else that he was just another rich and spoiled boy. But then he proved her wrong. He was a wonderful guy, caring and loving towards her. She really thought he was the one until…well, until the day that everything crashed down on her. That day, she wasn't ready to let him go, she didn't want to. She just… _had_ to.

Rory was interrupted once again as Jess, fully dressed, came into the living room.

"Why are you dressed?" She didn't care if the question sounded stupid; she needed to know where he was going.

"I'm going out."


	3. What Hurts The Most Was Being So Close

Rory was woken up the next morning by the loud noise of a thunder. Slowly opening her eyes, she noticed that the room was pretty dark and the rain was still falling heavily outside. She turned around to face the other side of the bed, and found it empty. Despite her pounding headache, she checked the room for a note from Jess.

Nothing. It was all too perfect.

That's when she noticed for the first time that his side of the bed was still made. He hadn't even slept there. She slowly stood up, trying not to focus on the growing pain when the sudden ringing of the phone startled her. She walked towards the living room to retrieve her cell phone that was still in her bag.

"Hello?"

"Rory, you need to come immediately." Allison, her assistant, told her frantically.

"What?" she tried to focus on her words as she was still half-asleep. "What happened?"

"I don't know. The boss told me to call you. He said it's a very important matter."

With her usual coffee securely tucked in her hand, she entered the building of the newspaper where she worked, directly heading to the elevators. When the doors opened at the selected floor, she was surprised to find Allison there waiting for her. She gestured towards the boss' office and told her that he was waiting for her.

She had never been scared of Mr. Smith; in fact she had been in his office quite a few times. But she could say that today was different even if she didn't know why. She softly knocks on his door twice and politely waited for his answer to open it.

He was busy talking on the phone, yelling at someone, blaming him for something. Meanwhile, he was searching through some papers, cursing the person on the other end of the phone for not finding it. The call ended with a 'fine', uttered like a death menace.

"Good morning Ms. Gilmore. Please have a seat."

She quietly sat down on the chair in front of his huge desk and patiently waited for him to talk. However, he kept on searching what she presumed was an important paper for a few minutes until he finally found it.

"We have a problem." He started slowly, while eyeing the paper in his hands. "Bill just had an accident and broke his leg."

"Oh my God."

"Yeah. The problem is that he had to go to London to interview the son of an American newspaper mogul."

"Oh, he never told me this."

"He was supposed to leave today at noon, but given the circumstances, I guess we won't see him for a month." He picked up a white folder from one of his drawers and opened it up in front of him. "You're a great journalist Gilmore, that's why I want you to take Bill's place."

"I…"

"Everything is paid for. Travel, hotel, various expenses."

"I don't know what to say."

"For starters, you can accept and then take this plane ticket."

He was handing her a plane ticket, which he previously took out of the folder. She was looking at it, but her mind was somewhere else. Things were bad with Jess; maybe this little vacation would have helped her recollect her thoughts.

She silently took the ticket. "Who am I going to interview?"

"Everything's in here. You made the right choice Gilmore. I'll see you when you come back." He concluded quickly before picking up his phone and started yelling once again. Taking the folder in her hands, she left the room and put the still unseen folder in her bag.

Of course she wanted to know whom she was going to interview in London, but at the same time, she knew that if she had opened it, she would have without any doubt missed her plane. After taking a moment to tell Allison everything, she left the office.

When she opened her front door, she wasn't surprised when she didn't find Jess there. He used to disappear for a few hours when he was pissed off but this time she didn't know where he had spent the night. She kept on calling him on his cell phone while she managed to make her suitcase. His phone was ringing, but nobody answered. She briefly looked at her watch, noticing that it was already 10.30am. She had to go to the airport; she couldn't wait longer for him to show up.

While carrying her suitcase out of the apartment, she left a message on his voicemail, explaining him everything.

JFK airport was trafficked as always, but she managed to find a way through the thousands of people carrying suitcases and standing in front of their check-ins. While she waited for the gate to open, she looked around herself and focused her attention on a young couple kissing a few metres away from her.

They looked so in love, so happy. Like she used to be a long time ago.

_They had decided to watch another movie together. Even though he didn't want to watch it, Rory's insistence managed to change his mind. That's why they watched Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. _

_They were both tired after a hard day full of classes and decided to relax on the couch. Much to Logan's surprise, Rory had fallen asleep long before the end of the movie, and since he wasn't fond of it himself, he decided to stop the movie and shut off the tv. _

_Reaching for the other armband of the couch, he took a warm blankets and lied it down on both of them, careful to cover her entire body. She was sleeping so peacefully, she looked like and angel. Not wanting to carry her to the bed for fear of waking her up, he lied down on the couch and pull her in between his legs, her head resting comfortably on his chest. _

_He smiled as his closed his eyes. Everything was perfect. _

Once on the plane, Rory opened to folder, determined to know whom she was going to interview. She gasped and let the small amount of papers fall on the table when she recognized the man of the photo. Mr. Smith had told her that it was in the newspaper field but she hadn't thought that it could have been _him_.

The name was underlined twice.

Huntzberger. Logan Huntzberger.

She hadn't heard him since they broke up at college, but she has been reading all his related articles. She was surprised that the newspapers never talked about a 'girlfriend', giving the fact that he was famous and good-looking. All the articles talked about business, and apparently he was doing a great job. She gave a quick glance to all the papers contained in the folder and noticed that she had already read them all.

Relaxing back against the plane's seat, she began wondering if he had already been informed that she would have interviewed him.

Her head started spinning and she became nervous when the pilot informed all the passengers that in a few minutes they would be landing at Heathrow.

The thought of seeing Logan again, to talk to him was too much.

---------------------

Shutting his computer off, Logan heavily leaned back in his chair, his back aching for a good rest. It's been nearly a year that he has been sitting on that chair for more than eleven hours a day. At first he hated his father, his job, everything in his life. He wanted to go home, not spending evenings eating Chinese food or pizza in front of his computer. But then, he had no one to go home to, no one who was waiting for him.

He let out a bitter laugh.

_He _had no one. He, _Logan Huntzberger, _the infamous Yale playboy, still hadn't found another girl to substitute the previous one.

He was pathetic and he knew it. But at the same time, he was actually surprised with himself. The situation he was in proved that he wasn't a playboy anymore, he didn't want to change girls. He wanted to stay with only one of them, but sadly he made a damn mistake and lost her forever.

_He tried hard to remain strong during the four hours in which he was busy leaving her messages on her voicemail. The messages said all the same things. He loved her. He really loved her. He told her over and over how sorry he was, how he'd never do something like this again. _

_Nothing. She hadn't answered his calls nor called him back. _

_He had never felt like this. He had never cared like this for a girl. She had managed to change him during the period in which they were together, and he loved her even more for that. _

_Slowly standing up from the couch, he reached for his bed and quietly lay down, his cell phone promptly placed on his bedside table. He closed his eyes, but he didn't sleep. He hadn't even remotely thought of sleeping. His mind was constantly on her. _

"_Rory, please answer the phone. I don't know what to tell you anymore to let you know how sorry I am. I'll do everything you want, just please…give me another chance. I love you, Ace."_

_She coldly deleted the message right after hearing it. She wasn't going to forgive him, not this time. _

_Logan opened his eyes again, this time looking at the clock beside him. Nothing, four hours and he still hadn't heard of her. He looked outside his window, watching the rain falling down. He hadn't realized his eyes were full of tears until one of them slowly trailed down his cheek. His closed his eyes again, as he feel them burning and other tears threatening to fall down. _

_He had lost his Ace forever. _

----------------------

_She tried to move in her sleep, but found it impossible. Slowly opening her eyes and adjusting them to the light filtering through the window, she looked down and saw Logan's arm draped around her waist. _

_She quietly tried to move to another position but as soon as she tried it, his arm tightened around her, gently pulling her body towards his. Moaning softly from their bodies contact, he placed the lightest of kisses on her bare shoulder, sending shivers down her spine. _

_This time, she succeeded in turning around and found herself face to face with him. His hand was gently rubbing her back and moving even closer to him, she closed the distance by kissing him sweetly, happy when he quickly returned the kiss._

She hadn't slept more than two hours when she got up the next morning. She had been nervous ever since she had seen his name written down on the paper and that damn memories that kept coming back weren't helping at all. She knew that she had to act professionally, treating him like any other of the previous people she had interviewed.

He was no different.

The road to his office was unbelievably long, thanks to the traffic and the heavy rain. The taxi finally stopped in front of a huge and elegant building, the name of the paper written in medium size gold letters. If she thought the outside was beautiful, she didn't find any words to describe what she found inside. It didn't look at all like a newspaper, but rather like a luxury hotel hall.

"Good morning. I'm looking for Logan Hunztberger."

The young girl looked up at her, and quickly checked her out before giving her the answer for the information she requested. Taking one of the glass elevators, she arrived at the fifth floor where his and other offices were located.

Stepping out of the elevator, she found herself looking at different desks and suddenly all eyes were on her. Feeling a little uneasy with the situation, she started walking straight trying to ignore everyone's glances until she reached his office.

Logan Huntzberger.

His name engraved in italics on a gold plaque showed that this was the right office. Knowing full well that the people behind her were still staring at her, she softly knocks twice, patiently waiting for an answer.

After receiving the permission to enter, she stepped in the room and quietly closed the door behind her. She turned around, ready to faced him, but instead she found herself staring at his back, as he was engaged in a phone conversation.

She remained in that same position until he finished and hanged up.

"Excuse me for the call, but…" his words stopped when he saw the identity of the person standing in front of him.


	4. Watching You Walk Away

He placed his cell phone on the desk, his eyes never leaving hers. It was Rory who decided to break the stare, knowing it was uncomfortable for the both of them.

"What are you doing here?"

He directly asked her to most obvious question. It's not that she expected a 'good morning' from him, but she wasn't used to see him so distant and cold.

"Didn't they tell you?"

"Tell me what?" he asked coldly, deigning her of another glance.

"I am here for the interview."

He let out a bitter laugh, surprised at her answer. Putting both his hands in his pants' pockets, he looked at her again and took in her appearance while she was staring at the floor. She was just like he remembered her. She was wrapped up in a short white coat and was clutching a folder hard in her hands.

"You want me to believe that you came all the way here to London to interview me?"

The whole situation was ridiculous to him. He gave up all hope of seeing her again long ago, and now, her coming right there in his office was just too much. He didn't know how to deal with her.

"It was a list minute. The original interviewer had an accident."

"Ah, so that's why you came here. Second choice. Tell me, _Gilmore, _how much did they pay you? Or have they promised you other things?" He asked her, while taking a seat on his black leather chair.

"Stop it!"

He looked up at her, and found himself staring right into her eyes. "I didn't _ask_ to come here, I _had _to. Don't think I'm happy of being stuck here in London with you doing an interview I don't want to do. I could care less about your life, your success and everything related to you. Just so we make this clear, I don't care about you and since this situation isn't going to change, you better start acting professionally like I will."

For a brief moment, she saw a glimpse of hurt in his eyes before he lowered them down again. He knew her so well. She was using that technique not to make him feel bad but just because otherwise she wouldn't know what to do.

"Please, have a seat."

She quietly sat down on the chair placed in front of his desk and put the folder on her crossed legs. Logan was silently observing his hands stretched out in front of him while she proceeded in taking out a small recorder and placing it on the desk.

"You don't have to answer all questions now. We can…"

"Are there personal ones?" he interrupted her, wanting to get straight to the point.

"Yes."

"Well, I can start with them by telling you that I don't have a life, a girlfriend, a lover or whatever you want to call it. I basically stay in this office most of the time remembering…" he quickly shut up, as if realizing in that moment what he was saying.

"Logan?"

"We've already covered part of the questions. You can ask me the non-personal ones now."

"Logan…"

"Come on, I will give you long and attentive answers just like my father taught me."

She reached for the recorder and shut it off.

"If you don't want to do this interview, just tell me."

"What? I'm answering your questions, aren't I?"

"Logan…"

"What? You think I lied to you when I told you I have no social life? What did you expect? To find me in my office kissing a blonde model?"

She remained silent, her silence answering his question.

"Of course. Why have I even asked that? I'm a playboy after all, right? I have a brand new girl every day."

"I didn't come here to argue with you. I have to do an interview."

He looked right into her eyes, as if searching for something. Noticing his inquisitor gaze, she lowered her eyes, breaking contact with him even though she knew he was still observing her.

Logan took his cell phone out of his pocket, turned it off and placed it on his desk.

"What would you like to eat?"

"What?" She was a bit confused by his question.

"It's noon, time for lunch."

"Oh, it doesn't matter. I'll eat something later."

---------------------

All the way to the restaurant, she kept on thinking how he convinced her to have lunch with him. Even though she didn't want to, she had to admit that she couldn't resist his charm. When he decided something, no one could make him change his mind.

He had always liked the best of everything, and the restaurant they were about to enter just confirmed it. It was an Italian restaurant, elegantly decorated with candles and ivory silk tablecloths. It was the perfect place for a romantic dinner, expect that their lunch wasn't anywhere near that.

They started eating quietly, neither of them speaking to the other. That is, until Logan broke the lingering silence.

"Are you happy?"

He speaking but even more his question startled her. She knew she shouldn't have accepted his lunch invitation.

"I'm the one who came here to do the interview, not you."

"I just asked a question, that's all." He shrugged nonchalantly, in an attempt to make her feel bad.

"You _didn't _just ask a question. You're doing this on purpose."

"Excuse me, doing what exactly?" he sounded totally confused, and that irritates her even more.

"Oh come on Logan. You know what I mean."

"Honestly, I don't. So if you…"

"You're trying to ruin my life once again. You've already hurt me. Wasn't that enough for you?"

"You hurt me too, you know. I wasn't all that happy when you left me."

"You cheated on me!"

"I've already explained and told you how sorry I was countless of times. What should I do?"

"Leave me alone."

Silence fell on them once again. She was absent-mindedly playing with the fork in her dessert dish while he was looking behind her, his eyes lost in nothing.

"I hadn't thought I would have seen you again." His voice is low and soft. "Even tough you broke my heart, I had no right to keep on bugging you. That's why I left you a voice mail message on your phone instead of calling you."

_He looked at his watch. One more hour and she would have finished it too. He had thought of that moment, of how he would have spent that particularly happy day with her. He had already started thinking of the right restaurant, the right hotel. He wanted that day to be special for the both of them, but especially for her. _

_But life can be really cruel sometimes. Here he is now, sitting on a couch in a posh New York City's hotel hall, staring at his filled but still untouched glass of scotch. Only a few miles separated him for her but at the same time he knew that it didn't matter anymore. She was probably be there with her boyfriend, her parents, her friends. _

"_Hey. I just wanted to congratulate you for your graduation. You did it. I told you when you dropped out of Yale that it wouldn't stay this way for too long. You missed school, and you make the best decision ever to go back. Don't let anyone stand in your way. Take care of yourself."_

"A message? You left me countless of them!"

"That was before."

"Before what?" Now she was lost. What was he talking about?

"Your graduation."

"I still don't understand."

He looked at her, trying to understand why she was talking as if she knew nothing. Her eyes were looking at him questioningly, waiting for him to explain himself.

"You haven't even listened to it, have you?"

"Listen to what, Logan? What are you talking about?"

"I left you a message for your graduation."

"What?"

"I left you…"

"I heard you. It's just that I… never got it."

"Oh." He sounded disappointed. She tried hard to remember that message, but nothing. She had really never heard it.

"When did you leave it?"

"During the afternoon."

"Why? I mean you were here busy with other things. Why did you even remembered?"

"As a matter of fact, I wasn't here, but in New York."

"Why did you do it?"

"Because…I still cared. Though it doesn't matter anymore now since I'm over you."

For a brief moment she looked hurt but then she totally changed. Why would she even care if he were over her or not? He wasn't part of her life anymore. She had her boyfriend, her job, her life. She didn't need him.

_As soon as she slammed the door behind her, Logan felt a wave of sadness and loneliness taking the best of him. She was gone for just a few seconds and he already missed her. He really never thought he would ever get this attached to a girl. _

_Quietly reaching one of the windows, he looked down and saw her walking and carrying her suitcase while wiping her eyes with the back of her hand._

_He hated seeing her cry. But now, he hated himself because he was the one who induced those tears. She didn't deserve to be hurt by him; she had always been a more than perfect girlfriend. _

_He kept on looking at her, noticing that she had stopped for a moment. He wanted to reach her down, hugging her tightly in his arms and kissing her. _

_But none of this was going to happen._

_All he could do was simply watching her walk away. _


	5. Words Left Unspoken

**A/N: I'm so sorry for making you wait so long for another chapter. I'm studying for the SAT and filling out college applications that are really really long. Anyway, I'll try my best not to have the next chapter posted in a month. Thank you for all your reviews; and if you're still reading, let me know if you like it or not :)**

Glancing at his watch, Logan noticed that it was almost 2.30pm. Time had flown relatively fast since they arrived at the restaurant.

"I have an important meeting in half an hour. That should last for two or maybe three hours. After that, I'm all yours." While informing her of his plans, he took out of his wallet some money and left it on the table, next to the bill.

She observed him as he left the restaurant, leaving her seating there, thinking of his previous words.

_I'm over you._

Those four words were haunting her like crazy and she didn't even know why. She shouldn't be this bothered by him. Putting her coat on, she headed for the exit, her mind constantly on him.

-------------------

She sighed heavily as she opened her hotel room, feeling both tired and weird. She wanted nothing more than to relax, but she knew it was impossible. She put her bag on the table and extracted the infamous folder before sitting on the fluffy bed.

She opened it and went through the articles again, attentively reading every single one. His personal life wasn't mentioned in any of the articles, not even once. It was really weird. After all he was young, powerful, rich, good-looking. No one can deny not to be interested if he has a girlfriend or not.

Relaxing back against the headboard, she thought of the message he had supposedly left her. She had really never heard it, and could still clearly see the disappointment in his eyes at her answer.

But then again, something wasn't making sense. If he was really over her like he had claimed to be at the end of their conversation, he had no reason to act that way or even to remind her of that message.

Even though she was confused by his actions, she found it sweet of him to leave her a message on that important day.

She must have fallen asleep, because she immediately jumped at the sound of her cell phone. She quickly answered it, not even bothering to check the ID.

"Hello?"

"You still coming?"

Logan's voice suddenly woke her and she looked out of the window while she tried to stand up. She gasped loudly when she saw that it was already dark outside.

"What time is it?"

"Nearly 8.30".

"Oh my God! It's late!"

While on the phone, he could hear her frantically searching for something and cursing for having problems at it.

"Hey, we can do it some other time. It's not a problem."

"No, no. I'll be there, just give me a minute." She kept on searching her shoes until she found them nearly under the bed. "I just…need to…put on…my shoes."

"Where are you?" she finally asked after a minute of silence, ready to exit the room.

"I'm in the car. Where are you staying?"

"I'm…" she stopped a moment, wondering why he was in the car. "I'm at the Ritz."

"I'll be there in five."

She hanged up, took what she needed and headed for the elevators. When she stepped out of the hotel, she found a black long limo parked right in front of the entrance. She recognized Frank waiting outside the car.

"Good evening Miss Gilmore." He greeted her politely.

She returned the greeting and he quickly opened the door, letting her get inside the car. When he closed the door, she looked to her left and saw Logan there, sitting next to her. He had loosened up his tie and he looked even more… even more nothing. She needed to stop checking him out.

"I'm sorry I woke you. I didn't know you were sleeping."

"It's ok. I guess I was just tired."

"You know you could have stayed there."

"I know."

The ride lasted for about fifteen minutes when they finally stopped in front of a building.

"Where are we?"

"This is my apartment."

They got off the car and she followed him to the entrance of the building, observing it from outside. Once inside, he greeted the doorman and proceeded to the elevator.

-------------------------

She quietly sat down on the couch after he had told her to make herself comfortable. He disappeared in the kitchen and came back a while later carrying two coke filled glasses, and some chips put in a silver medium cup. He placed everything down on the table in front of the couch and sit down next to her, keeping his distance.

In the meanwhile, she had already took everything she needed from her bag. Her recorder, her block notes and her pen.

"So, ready to start?"

"Of course".

With that, she switched on her recorder and started asking his work related questions. His fulfilled his previous promise as he answered every single question perfectly. He gave her the right details, the honest impressions, described the whole work. One would have been more than satisfied by his answers, but for some strange reason, she wasn't. She perfectly knew she had to mind her own business and not asking him this, but she couldn't help her curiosity.

"Is it true that you didn't go out with another girl?"

He nearly choked on the coke he was drink, startled by her unexpected question.

"I've already told you…" he started saying, looking directly at the recorder still on the table. Noticing his gaze, she quickly shut it off, and placed it back in her bag.

"I'm not going to write this on the paper. I just wanted to know it."

"What do you want me to say, Gilmore?"

She flinched at the cold use of her surname. Since she had first seen him in his office, he had called her like that. Not ace, not even Rory. During their time together, he had only called her Gilmore once or maybe twice, though she wasn't so sure of the latter.

"I'm just asking you a question, that's all."

She didn't have to seem to interested in that particularly topic. After all, she broke all contacts with him and hadn't heard him for many months.

"You're not _just _asking me a question. What do you really want to know?"

"Jeez, Logan. If you don't want to answer, then don't."

"Don't do that."

"Do what?"

"Don't drop the bomb and then run away from it."

"I'm not running away from anything."

"Yes, you are; and before answering your question, you'll have to answer mine."

"Oh, come on. What are we, five?"

"You asked the question first, it wasn't me."

Silence lingered over them for what seemed like an eternity. Neither of them spoke a single word. They both seemed absorbed in their own complicated thoughts.

_I love you._

_He whispered those three little words in her ear, just before they were about to make love. She looked at him, her eyes sparkling with tears. She felt so good with Logan, he was perfect. _

They were both suddenly startled when someone knocked on the door. Logan got up from the couch, trying to remember if he was expecting someone. The list wasn't so long, but still, he was pretty sure he wasn't.

When he opened the door, he didn't expect to see Colin and Finn on the other side. Although they were regularly in contact, they had visited him in London only a few times. He liked spending some time with them, it was like going back to college again.

"What, no hello? I'm hurt." Colin said playfully, noticing that Logan looked apparently lost.

"Didn't know you were coming."

"Yeah, I know. We were going to call, but then we forgot and…well, we decided to make a surprise."

They were happy to see him again, but Logan, on the other hand, was not. How was he going to explain to his friends that Rory Gilmore was sitting on his couch?

"Logan, you ok?"

Finn's worried voice brought him back to reality. He didn't know what to say.

"Yeah. Look, I…have a guest." He tried to keep it neutral, hoping that they weren't too curious to find out who was there.

But of course, he was wrong. "Who's there?"

"It's…" he tried to explain but Colin didn't let him finish.

"Is it a girl?"

Logan looked down, knowing that it was impossible to hide her from them.

"Who's the girl, Huntz?"

"You don't want to see her, trust me."

"Of course I want to see her. Come on Finn, let's go find out who the beauty is."

Logan tried his best to stop them but without success. They quickly made their way through his apartment to the living room where Rory was still sitting there on the couch. When she heard someone coming, she looked up and was as surprised as them by that unexpected encounter.

"Why is she here?" Colin asked Logan who had just joined them. He was annoyed, and that was clearly evident in his voice.

When Logan didn't answer, she replied in a polite voice. "I came to interview him."

"Interview him? What the hell is this? A damn joke?"

"It isn't…"

"Of all the people you could interview you chose him?"

"Do you think it was my choice? I…" she was getting really angry now, but then Logan interrupted them both.

"Stop it!" everyone looked at him, waiting for him to continue. "She came here for a damn interview, which by the way is already done. End of the story."

"Logan, don't forget…"

"I'm not forgetting anything." He replied quickly, not wanting him to finish his sentence.

"Ok, I'll shut up and from now on you will deal with your damn problems all alone."

"Colin, that's enough."

"No, it's not. Tell me, did she tell you why she came here aside from the interview?"

"Could you not talk like this since I'm standing right here?"

"I don't care where you are. What are you doing here?"

"What? Ok, this is getting ridiculous."

"Did you came back because you realized what living with a billionaire heir is like?"

"What?"

"Oh, come on. There's no need to lie now. Don't tell me you've never once liked Logan for his money and his name."

She shook her head in disbelief, not uttering a single word. She knew that even if she did, no one would listen to her. She couldn't believe they thought she stayed with Logan for his money. She considered them friends.

"What are you waiting for? Trying to find a good lie?"

She looked at Logan, trying to understand why he wasn't saying anything. He was coldly staring at her, as if silently agreeing to everything his friends were saying.

"Can I have a word with you, in _private_?" he didn't answer, just kept on looking her. "Logan, please."

Without saying anything, he reached his bedroom and she took that as hint to follow him. Once inside, she closed the door behind her and turned around to face him.

"What is it that you need to say in _private_?"

"Logan, please. Don't tell me you believed what they just told."

"Why shouldn't I?"

"I loved you, Logan. I really loved you. You know very well it wasn't because of your money or name. I really cared for you."

"Or you thought you did."

"What?"

"It didn't take you a second to jump back into the arms of that ex-boyfriend of yours."

"We're not talking about Jess. We're talking about us."

"There hasn't been an us since you left me. It isn't worth talking about."

"It is, for me."

"Why? It's all over. You have your perfect life, you perfect job, your damn perfect _boyfriend. _Why should it matter now?"

"It matters since you just doubted that I really loved you!"

He remained silent, the right words to retort back weren't coming.

"Don't tell me you've already forgot what we had together? You never once doubted my love."

"Go away." He said calmly, feeling angry.

"Logan…"

"I said go away."

"You cheated on me, Logan. You're the one who ended what we had."

He opened his mouth to retort back, but she had already left.


	6. To The Sound Of London Rain

**Thank you for your reviews! I'm glad you're still reading despite the long wait. I managed somehow to find time to write a new chapter, so here it is. Hope you like it :)**

She cursed under her breath as she fumbled in the bag, searching for her keys. She had everything imaginable in her bag: her wallet, a bottle of water, various papers and the paper work; that was the one occupying all the space. She angrily took the folder out of her bag, threw it on the floor and resumed searching for her keys.

When she finally succeeded in opening the door, she took the folder from the floor and got in, carefully looking around her. She assumed that Jess wasn't there since he hadn't answered the door but then she wanted to be sure.

Leaving everything on the couch, she inspected every single room until she was finally sure that he wasn't there. While heading towards the bedroom, she noticed that it was 4.30 pm and that Jess would be home in half an hour.

She took a quick shower and afterwards changed in some comfortable clothing. She did everything in a hurry to be able to greet Jess when he would have come home but at the end, she found herself waiting for him hours and hours sitting on the couch.

She was finally giving up and going to bed at 1 am when suddenly the front door opened. Jess got in, and he would have fallen down if she hadn't caught him. He roughly got away from her grip and shut the door behind him.

"Where were you?"

Her worried voice made him laugh. He couldn't believe she was worried about him.

"Jess, where were you?"

She repeated her question as she noticed that he was obviously not paying attention to her. She could smell alcohol all over him, and his movements just confirmed that he was drunk. Really drunk.

"Jess."

She tried to touch his arm but he quickly jerked her away, letting her fall on the floor. She quickly looked up while trying to distance herself from him. He had gotten drunk before, but at that occasion, they were at a party and everything was fine. But now, now she started getting scared. She had never been around anyone this drunk, and knew very well what could happen in these situations.

Succeeding in getting back up, she turned her back to him and quietly headed towards the bedroom, not wanting to deal with him while in this state. But apparently, he didn't have the same opinion.

"Where are you going?"

His harsh and loud voice made her jump and she quickly turned around, afraid that he might have already been behind her.

"You asked me where I was. Now, why don't you tell me where were you?"

"I left you a—"

"Your note wasn't clear enough."

"What?"

"Don't play dumb with me. I know what you did."

"Jess, I don't—"

"It's all over the papers!"

He kept on shouting and threw a newspaper at her feet. She didn't need to pick it up to find out what he was talking about; the picture in the first page spoke for herself. She tried to find the right words to tell him that that was just a misunderstanding but the title wasn't helping her.

"What? Trying to find the perfect lie?"

"Jess, please, do you really think that I—"

"Don't tell me that you're not capable of cheating, because you are! You left a note saying you were going to London to do an interview, not to jump in your ex's bed!"

"I didn't sleep with him!"

"If you think I believe you, you're sadly mistaken."

"I just did an interview, that's all. You know very well how journalists are. They make up a story from nothing."

"This is hardly nothing."

"God, I just went out to lunch with him. Why are you making such a big deal out of it?"

"Why didn't you tell me it was him?"

"You know what? We'll talk tomorrow since it's useless doing it know." She turned around and headed for the second time towards the bedroom but this time, it wasn't his voice stopping her but his hand.

He quickly took her arm and pushed her roughly against the wall, pressing his body against hers. She started struggling to get him off of her but it was all to no use. He was definitely stronger than her and she couldn't compete against him in any way.

"Stop struggling!"

She could feel her heart beating fast and was sure that he could hear it too. Despite her best efforts to remain calm and not showing too much emotion, her eyes welled up with tears. She looked down and sniffed quietly, trying to hold back the tears from falling.

"Tell me Rory" he spoke into her ear, inhaling her scent, "how was the sex?"

"Jess…please"

"Answer the question."

Her tears started falling the moment he pressed himself further against her. She could feel his arousal and that scared her even more. She didn't know how to get out of that situation.

"How long is this going on?"

"Nothing is going on. Jess, please."

"Don't try to fool me again! We haven't had sex for months, you're not telling me you love me!"

"Jess…"

"Shut up!"

The sound of the slap echoed in the silence of the room. She could feel her cheek burning where he had just hit her, and the tears were falling freely. She didn't dare look up or even move for fear that he'd hit her again. It was like living the worst of nightmares.

After some interminable minutes, she saw his feet moving towards the bedroom, walking past her and she finally jumped when he shut the door hard behind him.

Still trembling, she got up and went to the bathroom, all the while supporting herself on the walls. She turned on the light and quickly covered her eyes, for it was too strong for her. While staring at herself in the mirror, she noticed that she had multiple bruises on both her arms that were quickly turning into a black-purple color. Her cheek was still red and hot and she lightly winces when she tried to wash her face with cold water.

-------------------------------

"Great. Just what I needed."

Logan threw the newspaper in the bin, not even caring about reading it. The photo already said enough and the title was certainly helping. How did he find himself in that situation? Things would have been gone well if it was another one doing the interview. Why the hell did she have to come? She came there, ruined everything and then got back home.

Now every single journalist, trying everything to interview him and know more about 'his girlfriend' will start hunting him. However, the journalists were the least of his problems as his father occupied the first place. He had done a wonderful job in London so far, trying to stay out of the gossip and focusing on his work and now, it took a single day to ruin everything.

---------------------------

She felt incredibly cold and yet she was wearing a very heavy pullover. Hugging a pillow tightly against herself, she felt new tears falling down her cheeks. Nearly half an hour has passed since Jess had closed himself in the bedroom, but she was still scared to death that he may beat or yell at her again.

_She was walking quickly in the now deserted campus to reach her dorm. She had spent the afternoon studying and doing researching in the library for her midterms. Time had flown and she hadn't even noticed that it was that late. _

_She had almost arrived at Branford when she heard someone walking behind her. She started walking faster, trying to avoid turning around to look. She didn't want to give the impression of being scared. _

_She thought she was already far from him, when suddenly she feels a hand touching her shoulder. She quickly dropped everything down and started running, but was promptly stopped again by the man. _

"_Let me go!" She screamed so loud that even those living in the apartments off-campus could have heard her. _

"_Rory. Rory stop struggling." While talking, he had succeeded in turning her around. He could feel her body trembling and hugged her immediately. She resisted a little at first but then she gave in and her body was racked in sobs. "Hey, it's ok. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."_

_His last words seemed to have calmed her down, because her sobs subsided and she hugged him back tightly against her. _

Why did she keep on having all those memories? She thought she had done with Logan a long time ago but apparently, he was still haunting her.

Tiredness had just taken the best of her when the ringing of her cell phone suddenly awaked her. She quickly started searching it in her bag, not wanting to wake up Jess.

She opened it and was just about the reply when a voice on the other end interrupted her.

"I hope you're happy."

Logan's voice echoed in her ear, and she was taken aback by the coldness of it.

"What? Can't talk anymore?"

He was angry, she could hear it but she didn't want to wake up Jess. She kept on looking at the door, as if waiting for it to open.

"Logan."

She nearly whispered his name, her eyes fixed on the door. Now, it was his turn to remain silent. Her voice was strange, as if she had been…no, it couldn't be. She had no reason to cry, much less to let him know it.

"Logan."

"Have you seen?"

"Yeah." What he meant didn't need any explanation. They both knew very well what was being discussed.

"Got nothing to say? I thought this was what you wanted."

"I just went there for an interview. Don't make this into something it isn't."

"Yeah, because this is all my fault, right? I cheated on you, I ruined your life, I…"

"Stop it!"

She didn't mean to shout but at the same time, she wanted him to stop. She didn't want to punish him for what happened. When she accused him of being a cheater, she did it only to state a fact.

When Rory started talking again, the ringing of another cell phone suddenly interrupted her. Quickly looking around her, she frantically tried to search the source of the sound but before she did, Jess opened the bedroom door and strolled in the living room. The sound was really loud and Jess was cursing under his breath as he reached the room.

She didn't see him, as she was intent on finding his cell.

"Late night calls?"

His voice froze her. She stopped searching and turned towards him, her cell phone still attached to her ear. No one was talking on the other end, but she knew that Logan hadn't hung up.

"You phone was ringing."

"Smart observation, that's why I'm up. Who are you talking to?"

She looked up at him, while quickly scanning the answering options.

"I asked who are you talking to."

Jess came closer to her and she stepped back, trying to keep a safe distance between them. Logan heard the repeated question but also heard her silence. He glanced at his watch, and realized that it was almost four in the morning in the United States.

"Who is it? Lover boy?"

Logan's breath caught in his throat. Lover boy? That can only meant a thing; he had seen the photo.

"Were you having a nice sex talk with him?"

Jess' phone started ringing again, and everyone could hear it. Rory was glad of it because he would have answered it, but then she wasn't totally sure of that.

"Your phone."

Those were the only words she could muster since their conversation began.

"It doesn't end here."

He picked up his phone and left the bedroom, leaving her wondering what will happen next. What made her situation worse, was Logan hanging up at the other end after hearing the end of their confrontation. Sighing, she closed her phone, feeling that bit of reassurance leaving her.

----------------------------

Logan stared at the rain falling hard outside with his cell phone clutched in his hand. He hadn't been able to go to the office that day; her visit had affected him in more than one way. He didn't expect to see her; he wasn't even prepared for that day. Things were supposed to stay as they had been for all those months. Her in New York, with her lovely boyfriend and her damn perfect life, and him in London, focusing on working and pleasing his father.

However, what he thought was the perfect equilibrium, was shattered the moment she stepped into his office. If only he had knew she would have been the one conducting the interview, he would have had it rescheduled.

Lying back on the bed, he tried uselessly to catch some sleep but she constantly filled his mind. The last phone call surely hadn't helped him. Why hadn't she told Jess a lie? Why did she seem frozen in front of him? He thought she loved him, and having secrets never lead to something good. Even though Jess had seen the photo, he could read her interview in a couple of days.

Even if he knew it wasn't his problem, he couldn't help but think of it. Why was she crying? And then 'lover boy', 'sex talks', 'it doesn't end here'. Why did he mean?

Her thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of his phone and without checking the caller ID, he answered it.

"Logan, I need you here immediately."

"Where is here?"

"New York, remember? I've been here for two weeks."

"What do you need me there for?"

"A business meeting. You'll get details once you're here."

"Fine."

He hung up, not even bothering to add something else. He could have told him anything, but he knew very well that his father wouldn't have changed his mind. Going to New York wouldn't have helped him get past what had happened the earlier days. The loud thunder outside did nothing to lighten his mood.

Sighing heavily, he picked up his suitcase and placed it on the unmade bed. This was just another one of his business trips.

Nothing and no one would have changed it.


	7. Don't Say A Word

**A/N: Thank you so much for your wonderful reviews! I'm glad that you like the story. Here's the new chapter. Let me know what you think :)**

The strong aroma of coffee filled her nostrils and she quietly stretched her legs on the couch, starting to feel pain on her back for the uncomfortable position. She had slept on the couch all night, or what remained of it. She slowly opened her eyes adjusting them to the light that filtered through the window. It didn't take her longer to understand that that wasn't a normal day.

It was snowing.

Small snowflakes were falling quietly above the city, in between the skyscrapers, giving to New York a magical atmosphere. It was perfect since Christmas was in two days; however, she wasn't happy as she used to be during this period. Things had gone from bad to worse and what happened last night landed a final blow and shattered everything she was trying to readjust. Nothing would ever have been the same again.

Too many things happened, too many things changed. It was not so easy to forget.

Wrapping herself up with the heavy wool plaid that laid on the couch, she approached the window and looked outside, observing the nearly greyish sky.

She was so absorbed in looking at the snow that she totally jumped when she felt a cold hand on her stomach. She quickly turned around and distanced herself from Jess, nearly falling in the process because of the blanket. He had a strange look on his face, as if he didn't remember what had happened the night before.

Without uttering a single word, he tried again to find some physical contact with her but once again, she promptly took a distance.

"What's wrong?"

She looked at him in disbelief, trying to find the real reason of his question. At a first glance he seemed sincere but she knew that something was behind his appearing estranged from facts. He kept on staring at her, without moving as he had already understood that it would lead to nothing.

"Are you kidding me?"

"What's wrong Rory?"

"You are incredible."

"Rory, what—" he tried once again to touch her arm but she quickly backed off.

"Don't touch me."

"Rory—"

"Don't you dare touch me!"

He stopped dead in his tracks, astonished by her verbal reaction. He noticed that she was slightly trembling and clutching that blanket harder around herself. She was desperately trying to protect herself – but from what?

"Ok, I'll stay here. Tell me what happened?"

"I have to tell you what happened? You know it very well!"

"Rory…"

"Don't start again with _what happened_. I can't believe you think you can fool me like this."

"I…"

"You hit me last night!"

The room fell into a deadly silence right after she uttered those last words. She was angry, and him constantly avoiding talking about what happened wasn't helping. He looked at her for a moment, but then all of a sudden, it all came crashing down. He suddenly remembered everything from last night, including the fact that he was pretty drunk. He remembered yelling at her, hitting her but also the fact that generated all those actions.

"You cheated on me."

"That's all you have to say? We're not starting this conversation again. I've already told you everything I had to last night."

"That is what?"

"Ok, seriously. Drop it."

She turned around and left the blanket on the nearby armchair, but as soon as she did it, he quickly stopped her by grabbing her arm. She winced at his touch; his grip was perfectly above the old one.

"Let me go."

Looking defeated, he let her go and watched her disappear into the bathroom.

-----------------

Rory was amazed at the decorations she found in the hall as she proceeded towards the reception. A tall Christmas tree was placed almost in the middle of the hall, decorated with silver balls, swarovsky accessories and garlands. The lights gave even more magic to the entire composition, making it glowing and shining like a star. The place was mostly full of businessmen, hurrying around with their briefcases but also of happy couples and children.

"How may I help you Miss?"

"I'd like a room for…two nights."

The woman behind the reception searched frantically on her computer for a room, and by turning around, Rory noticed that a small queue had formed behind her.

After five minutes, she had her key and bag in her hand, and proceeded to the elevators.

-----------------

"I've already told you I'm not coming."

"Oh, come on. It's Christmas night, we gotta celebrate."

"You go celebrate. I can't risk having another _picture_ on the front page."

Hanging up his phone, Logan straightened his tie and walked out of the elevator. He crossed the long room full of desks and employees and he could feel every single women eye on him. He was about to knock on a door when it suddenly opened and his father came out of the room.

"Logan, you're here."

"Of course I'm here dad. You didn't leave me any choice in the matter."

Instead of replying, his father shot him his usual glance and invited him into his office. Logan took a seat on the chair in front of the desk and started observing his surroundings while his father was busy searching something.

"I asked you to come…" he started saying while taking a seat opposite to his son, "…because there is something I'd like to discuss face to face."

Logan knew that that serious tone never led to something good.

"You've been doing a great job so far in London despite what recently happened. You should be more careful Logan as to the people to allow in your life. You know very well that that girl…"

"I'm not sixteen anymore dad. You can control my work, but not my social life."

"Logan…"

"No dad, seriously. You made me come here all the way from London just to discuss about a stupid photo?"

"It isn't so stupid."

"Ok, we're not having this conversation. If you want to tell me something else, just do it; otherwise, I'll be out of here."

"What I wanted to tell you is related to what happened. You're doing a great work, and from tomorrow, I want you here in New York."

Logan looked at him in disbelief. Ok, something was definitely strange. After what happened with Rory, why would he want him to stay in New York? That would definitely ruin everything. New York is without any doubt a big city but the chances of seeing her were dangerously high. From now on, they would have to work in the same building.

"Why?"

He couldn't say anything else. That was the only word he could say, for his mind was still full of thoughts regarding a certain person.

"I've already told you why."

"Are you doing this on purpose? Do you want to ruin me?"

"Come on, Logan. What happened happened. You're a man now, you know how to face things."

--------------------------

Rory had been lying down on the bed since she arrived earlier that morning. She didn't have the strength to unpack the few things she brought with her or even change in more comfortable clothes. She stayed just the same, her gaze lost in the ceiling, her mind constantly full of thoughts.

She still couldn't believe what had happened. She knew Jess had a temper and everything _but _she had never thought that he would have hit her. Never in a million years. Apparently she was wrong, she didn't know him that well as she thought she did. She knew that he was angry because of the photo and frustrated because of their private life.

She had never felt afraid of her boyfriend; on the other hand, she remembered always feeling safe with… maybe she shouldn't even think of him.

She had promptly broken up with Logan when she learned of his cheating with Honor's bridesmaids. What if her decision was too rushed? What if she made the wrong decision?

"I'm pathetic."

She said it to everyone and no one.

She couldn't believe that she was spending her time lying in a hotel room, thinking of her boyfriend and ex boyfriend. She shouldn't have all those doubts. Logan is an _ex boyfriend _for a reason; however, she couldn't stop thinking about it.

Despite what happened, she knew he had truly loved her throughout the entire time they were together. He had changed; he wasn't the playboy he used to be, or at least she thought he wasn't. What is also to be considered is the fact that he's human, he can make mistakes like anyone.

She was the one denying him a second chance when he had practically begged her for it.

"_I won't give him a second chance. He had to thought about it before cheating on me."_

"_Rory, please…"_

"_Please what Colin?"_

"_I don't care if his hurt, or broken or whatever. I don't give a damn about him, and you know why? Because he didn't think of me when he decided to sleep with all those girls! I was alone too, you know; but I didn't sleep with the first guy I found."_

_They both remained quiet, and then left her room, leaving her all alone in the middle of it, wondering what had just happened. She had just been crying, but that didn't stop new tears from falling. She was tired of crying over him, her throat ached, and she felt terrible. _

_When she went to sleep that night, she told herself that it was just normal, that she would have gotten over it sooner or later. _

_What she didn't know was that it was easier said than done. _

------------------------

"Damn, damn, damn."

Logan kept on cursing his cell phone all the way from the office to the nearest Starbucks. The phone had suddenly turned off on his own and it seemed impossible to turn it back on. He was so angry and furious with his father that he even forgot to take an umbrella. His black coat was covered in small white snowflakes that were quickly turning into water, resulting in wetting his entire coat.

Once at the cafe, he gave up turning on his phone, went directly to order a coffee and because of his hurry he bumped into someone.

"What the hell?"

"Hello to you too."

"What are you two doing here?"

Logan knew that Colin and Finn wouldn't have got lost so easily, so he thought of taking advantage of the situation to order his so wanted coffee.

"We've already told you. It's Christmas."

"Oh, come on." Logan smacks him playfully on his arm, and after thanking the girl who gave him the coffee, he followed the guys to a nearby table.

"So, what's up?"

Colin started with a question that Logan totally hated.

"What should I tell you?"

"Why are you here? I mean, you came here without telling us anything."

"Yeah, but apparently my plan didn't work since you're both here."

"Of course, we have our… how do we call it, Finn?"

"Private informer."

"That's right."

"Wow, you are incredible. Didn't expect that from you two."

While talking, he had finally succeeded in turning his cell phone back on and while looking at the callers' ID who had managed to call him in the few minutes in which his phone was off, he saw it.

Three little letters, that once meant the world for him.

"Logan? Logan?"

It wasn't Finn's voice that took him out of his reverie but his hand, which was gently shaking him.

"What?"

"You seemed lost. Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." He abruptly closed his phone and put it back in his pocket, trying to focus on what was happening.

"What was that?"

"What?" Logan tried to ask his question in the more possible innocent way, but it was useless. Everyone could have seen that something troubled him.

"What did you read?"

"Nothing. I just checked my calls."

"Logan."

"What?"

He shouted it out loud, and suddenly all eyes were on him. Sensing this, he dropped his head down and tried in vain to calm down. He waited a couple of minutes before turning towards Finn.

"You want me to tell you so you can start haunting me again with it?" no one answered him, maybe for fear of his reaction. "She is constantly on my mind, I thought I would get past her but last week changed everything."

Finn and Colin looked at each other as if searching for some kind of silent confirmation that they had both understood whom Logan was talking about. Their joking tone disappeared, and they find themselves looking at their friend, haunted by thoughts of his ex girlfriend.

In the meantime, Logan's phone rang and after uttering two quick words, he got up taking the coffee with him.

"I have to go. I'll see you later."

They both nod without saying anything and watched him walking through the place. He had just got out of the cafe, when he bumped into someone else again for the second time.

Though this time, nearly half of his untouched coffee spilled out.


	8. Whenever You Remember

**Thank you so much for your reviews :) I'm glad that you like the story. Here's the new chapter; let me know if you like it or not. **

She felt it immediately. Hot, burning coffee running down her shirt under the open coat. She had just stepped out of a shop and still hadn't closed her coat. Big mistake. At least, she wouldn't have felt it that way.

She looked up, wanting to face whoever was responsible for that mess when she found herself staring at a familiar pair of eyes.

"It's always you."

His cold voice in that moment hurt her more than she could have imagined. She was still shook by what had happened and seeing Logan didn't help.

"You could at least look at where you're going," he told her while wiping the coffee from his hand with a small handkerchief.

She remained silent all the while, looking at him, wondering why that kept on happening. They had managed to stay a couple of months apart but now it's like they lived next door. When he looked up again, he found her staring at him and noticed how tired and red her eyes were.

Deciding he didn't care, he angrily threw his coffee in the nearby bin and proceeded on walking without turning around.

------------------

"I don't care about this. I want _this _first page article."

Logan was exhausted. He'd had an awful day, starting with his morning encounter. He knew he would have seen her, but why did that happened before time?

"I'm sorry Mr. Huntzberger but Gilmore had to write that one."

"Then where the hell is she?"

He violently threw the papers he was holding on the table. He couldn't do it. That was just too much.

"She called a few minutes ago saying she was taking the rest of the day off." The employee cautiously eyed his boss and took a step back.

"It doesn't work like this. She can't just take a day off whenever she wants it. Call her and tell her to come here immediately. No excuses."

"Yes, sir."

As soon as Bill left his office, Logan sat back down onto his comfortable leather chair. He closed all the open folders that had been put on his desk while he was out. He didn't have the mind or the feeling to read them all.

He didn't know how much time had passed when he finally heard a soft knock on his door. After uttering his invitation, the door opened and there she was.

"About damn time."

He was being mean to her. He knew very well that this was hurting her but he didn't care. It was all her fault, it has always been her fault.

"What did you want to see me for?"

"Your lack of professionalism."

"What?"

"You heard me. Don't think that just because I'm your age, then I'm stupid."

"Logan, what…"

"First thing, you'll call me Mr. Huntzberger. You're not privileged in any way just because you used to know me. You're just like the others."

"Fine."

"Have a seat."

She slowly sat down on a chair facing his desk and he noticed that she was having trouble sitting down even if she tried to hide it.

"Where's my article?"

"What?"

"There article you were supposed to write."

"I didn't finish it."

"Well, what are you waiting for then?"

"I thought about finishing it…"

"I don't care what you thought. I'm the one who decides here and _I want _that article ready for tonight."

"The article was supposed to be done for next week."

"Change of plans. Have it ready or you're fired."

As soon as she looked up at him, he lowered his eyes pretending to be busy examining some papers. Truth was that he had never felt this bad in his life. He was becoming more and more his father and he hated it. He had just blackmailed his former girlfriend and instead of feeling good or complacent because of what happened, he felt bad.

He kept on looking at papers until she got up and quietly left the room. He had expected her to retort back but then he realized that he wasn't talking to her like a friend but like her boss.

None of them was used to this.

---------------------

_He had never invited anyone to his Christmas party. He had always celebrated it with Colin, Finn, Stephanie and some other closer friends in New York City along with their respective parents. He had never thought about including anyone else as he knew very well that every girl wanted him just for his money. _

_However, this year was different. They decided to remain at Yale, and hosting a small private party all for themselves. _

_Logan still remembers the look on Rory's face when he told her that she was invited. She first blushed, causing him to lightly chuckle for he wasn't accustomed to such a thing with the other girls, and then quietly muttered her reply. _

_The others were all happy that Rory had joined the party and they spent the night making her feel at ease and entertaining her with various stories. _

_Eventually, late at night, they all settled in front of the TV to watch one of those typical Christmas movies. Without even knowing it, Rory found herself sitting right next to Logan. For the first ten minutes, everyone kept on talking about the movie but then, silence lingered over them as some had already fall asleep. _

_Rory was so into the movie that at some time, she shifted against Logan to find a more comfortable position on the couch. He waited for her to stop moving and then, without giving too emphasis to the gesture, as if it was natural, he placed his arm around her shoulders and brought her closer to him. _

_He felt her resisting at first but then she gave in and lied her head on his shoulder. _

Logan didn't realize it was already 8.30 pm. Colin and Finn had just called and he had rejected their offer once again. He wasn't happy; he hadn't been happy in a long time. He turned on the radio for a second before quickly turning it off because of what he heard.

_When you look back on times we had, I hope you smile _

_And know that through the good and through the bad, I was on your side when nobody could hold us down_

He was already depressed; he didn't need some lyrics to bring him even more down.

Grabbing both his coat and his cell phone, he left his office. While heading directly towards the elevator, he noticed that a light in one of the offices was still on. Thinking that someone had forgotten to turn the lights off, he entered the room without knocking and that's when he realized that someone was still in there.

Rory was sitting at her desk, eyes fixed on the screen in front of her. She had a lot of papers on one side of the desk and a coffee on the other one. She hadn't even looked up when he had opened the door. While he stood there, looking at her and thinking of what to do, she kept on working.

Finally, after a good three minutes silence, he found the words to tell her.

"I didn't know you were still here."

"I had to finish my article."

He was lost again. He didn't know what to do or what to say. Suddenly, his thoughts were interrupted when she got up to retrieve a just printed sheet from the printer. Collecting other two sheets that were already on her desk, she handed them all to him.

"Your article."

He looked at her in disbelief, but then her behaviour wasn't that unexpected. He knew she was correct in her work; she had never disappointed anyone as far as he knows.

"I'll have a look at it tomorrow."

Tomorrow? How could he be so stupid?

While he was questioning his intelligence or total lack of it, she acted indifferently as if nothing happened. She quietly collected her things and headed towards the door, not deigning him of a glance.

She was just stepping into the elevator when she heard her name.

"Rory, wait."

Too little, too late. The elevator's doors closed right in front of him.

Rory kept looking impatiently at the tiny red numbers inside the elevators until she reached the main floor. Quickly stepping out of the elevator, she hurried to the exit without looking back.

After a couple of minutes, she heard it again. She didn't know what to do anymore, if running, shouting at him or simply ignore him. She chose the last option, being the best one. If she thought this was going to work, she hadn't given him enough credit.

"Rory."

She felt his hand on her arm but she kept on walking trying to distance herself from him.

"Rory, stop."

He kept of trying to stop her, until she lost it.

"What?" She shouted out loud.

Logan was taken aback by her sudden outburst.

"What do you want from me?"

"When I told you this morning that…"

"You mean when you blackmailed me."

"Oh come on, let me finish."

"No, I won't. I don't care about what you have to say."

"Rory…"

"Don't. Stop following me. We're not friends anymore, I can charge you."

"What?"

"You're my boss and you've been molesting me."

"I'm not molesting you."

"Stop following me!"

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

"No, what the hell is wrong with _you._ What did you want to demonstrate? Your superiority? The fact that now you can make me do whatever you want by blackmailing me?"

Logan realized in that moment that she was going to win their verbal battle.

"I'm not taking advantage of my position. I'm just doing my job as you should do yours."

"We both know that's not true."

"What should I do then? I can't treat you better than the others just because we used to date."

"Why did you want me to finish that article today?"

Not knowing what to say, he put both his hands in his coat's pockets and looked away from her.

"What? Trying to find the right words to fool me? Save them. I know that you did it just to see what I would have done." She paused a moment waiting for his reaction and then continued, "What did you expect me to do?"

Again, her question was answered with silence.

"Tell me!"

"I don't know, ok! I don't!"

"Wrong answer."

"It's not up to you to question my actions."

"You're right, it's not."

"We're both grown up and we have different lives. If you can't accept this, then it's your problem."

"Goodbye, Logan."

"Stop acting childishly."

"You'll have my resignation letter Monday morning." She finally said with a shaking voice. Looking down, she started walking away from him. She felt tears stinging at her eyes when she heard the joyful voices of some children who were happily playing with the snow.

She was just turning around the corner, when she distinctly heard her name being called and suddenly all blacked out.


	9. Things get damaged, things get broken

**I'm so sorry for the delay. Finally all college apps are over and hopefully I'll have more time to write. Thank you for still reading this story. Let me know if you like the new chapter :)**

Logan ran towards Rory trying to catch her fall, but he didn't succeed. Carefully lifting her up from the ground, he gently inspected her head for any injury. It was freezing outside and he absolutely needed to take her to a warm place.

He didn't know where she lived, and leaving her there definitely wasn't an option. Even if he had been mean to her, he wasn't _that _mean.

He lifted her up and brought her to his car, gently placing her on the seat. The streets were not so crowded and he succeeded in reaching his house in a few minutes. Once there, he carried her to his bed and lied her down.

Her clothes were practically wet from the snow that had fallen on them while they were arguing. He had no intention of leaving her in that condition but then, he couldn't just undress her; she wasn't his girlfriend anymore.

However, the more he looked at her, the more he felt guilty about leaving her in those clothes.

She spent an awful day thanks to him. He insulted her in the morning, blackmailed her into finishing an article just for his pleasure and then she had fainted because she hadn't eaten all day and in addition, she was all wet.

No, he couldn't leave her like that. Even if she would probably argue with him the day after, that wasn't enough to stop him.

He went closer to her, and managed to take off her coat and subsequently her pullover. Then, he slowly reached for her shirt and gently lifted it up, leaving her in only her bra. In that moment he couldn't help but admire her beauty.

She was beautiful; she has always been beautiful.

But then, something was different. She wore a black bruise on her arm showing that she had clearly been gripped with force and a small cut on her forehead. Her hair had done a wonderful job at hiding it and he can tell that it was her intention to hide it.

When he was done undressing her, he put one of his Yale t-shirts on her. It was big for her but without any doubt comfortable. That was what she needed, a good rest.

Shutting the bedroom's lights off, Logan settled down on one of the couches. He took a look outside, his gaze lost on the snowflakes falling down. The snow had created a lovely and magical atmosphere and he _knew _that people were having fun.

It was Christmas after all.

Apparently, it was Christmas for everyone but them. Letting out a bitter laugh, he poured himself a glass of scotch. He indeed wanted to spend this holiday at home but surely without an unconscious Rory in his bedroom.

-------------------------

Rory woke up the day after greeted by the characteristic snow light. Absorbed by the atmosphere, she got up from the bed and promptly went to the window to observe the city. Little did she realize that she wasn't in her bedroom. Quickly taking a look around, she noticed that she wasn't able to recognize that room.

She had never been there.

Taking a moment to reflect upon last night's events, she tried to figure out what could have happened. She remembered having argued with Logan on the street and then nothing. While lost in her thoughts, she also realized that she was wearing a t-shirt that didn't belong to her.

What happened?

Her question was finally answered the moment she found Logan asleep in the living room. Her mind told her to wake him up, questioning him about what happened last night; her heart on the other hand, told her that she could wait until he wake up the know the whole story.

In the meantime, she took a full tour of the house, exploring each single room. From what she saw, she could clearly tell that he hadn't lost his touch. He has always liked luxury things, and the big Jacuzzi tub in the bathroom just confirmed it.

She was so lost in observing his material possessions that she didn't even notice Logan standing behind her.

"Searching for something?"

His voice startled her.

"What am I doing here?"

"Good morning to you too. Did you sleep well?"

Her question was answered by his sarcastic voice. She hated it when he acted like that; she hated not being in control of the situation.

"Logan."

"Fine, I'll tell you what happened. You fainted, I brought you here. End of the story."

"I what?"

"Yes, you fainted. Perhaps you forgot to eat yesterday."

After he spoke the last words, she fell silent. She tried to remember what had happened the day before and besides memories of his blackmailing, she didn't recall having eaten at all.

"Rory."

He was right.

"Rory."

"What?"

"You spaced out. Are you all right?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

Without adding anything else, she headed towards the bedroom. She needed to get dressed and go back—she didn't even know where.

"I saw the bruise on your arm."

She stopped dead cold in her tracks. Logan would have laughed in another circumstance at how quickly he had managed to catch her complete attention.

"Who did that to you?"

"No one. I fell on the stairs."

She thought she had easily dismissed him but as soon as she tried to leave again, he stopped her once more.

"You can't fool me this time. That bruise was clearly made by someone's hand."

He put a hand on her shoulder and she quickly jerked away from him. He didn't expect this reaction and was clearly surprised.

"Sorry," she said mindlessly. She felt stupid now; she shouldn't have acted that way.

"What's going on?" Logan asked her gently, avoiding touching her again.

"It's nothing."

"How can I help you if you don't talk to me?"

"I don't want your help!"

"It's Jess, isn't it?"

"Leave it alone, Logan."

"I _can't _leave it alone. What else has he done to you?"

She didn't answer his last question but instead tried to resume her way to the bedroom. However, he succeeded in stopping her once again.

"What will you do?"

"What?"

He didn't repeat his more than clear question. He simply looked at her, waiting for some kind of answer that eventually came.

"You didn't have the right to undress me!"

"Oh, so now it's my fault? Your clothes were soaking wet, what should I have done?"

"Left me the hell alone!"

"I didn't kidnap you in case you don't remember. You fainted! Should I have left you on the street?"

She couldn't find anything else to add. He was right; he had been right all along. Tears welled up in her eyes and she promptly lowered her head to hide them from his view.

"I have my own life now Logan and you're not part of it. You can't intrude whenever you want. It's been a year and you still don't understand it."

-----------------------

Things were more chaotic than usual Monday morning at the newspaper. Employees kept going from one desk to another to entertain others with their stories. Everyone had his own Christmas story to tell and apparently, each one of them had a great time.

Logan managed to hear a few stories while he made his way to his office. Many people spent the holidays with their boyfriends, husbands, and family. Allison was even giving out details of her night activities with her boyfriend.

Logan had just sat down on his chair and positioned his coffee on the table when he heard someone knocking at the door. At first, he looked surprised when Rory came in but then remembered what she had said two nights before.

"Good morning Mr. Huntzberger."

Rory closed the door behind her and then stood right in front of his desk. She handed him a folded letter that he promptly took. After giving it a quick look, he wrote something on a block notes.

"Resignations accepted. Empty your desk."

She knew very well it was her decision but still, she couldn't believe that he had accepted them without arguing.

"Good morning Elizabeth. Would you tell Cameron to come here? Thank you." When he hung up, he looked at Rory who was still standing in his office. "Did you need something else Miss Gilmore?" When she let out a no, he resumed talking, "Then please leave this office. I have something to discuss about with my new reporter."

"Cameron is your new reporter?"

"Something to object?"

"Of course! She can't write and we both know it."

"It's not up to you to judge other people's writing. You don't work here anymore."

"It doesn't matter. I'm giving you an advice."

"Of course it matters. I don't need your advices; I know how to do my job. And just so you know, you weren't better than Cameron at writing."

"Pretending won't help you."

"I'm not pretending Gilmore. If you still hadn't caught it, you still worked here because I couldn't fire you. After all you were my girlfriend at college and were decent at writing."

"Decent at writing? I was the editor of the Yale Daily News!"

"Well, I'm the boss here and I alone decide what's best for the newspaper."

"One can't decide if he can't write."

"And?"

"You remained on the Yale Daily News staff just because you were Mitchum Hunztberger's son, surely not because of _your _writing!"

He let out a bitter laugh at her accusation. "Attacking me will only get things worst. You better start finding a new job soon before all New York papers will know of your lack of writing."

"That's the only you can do, huh? Blackmailing people."

"If I can do it, why not?"

She left his office slamming the door hard behind her. Everyone turned to look at her and then at Logan's office. Cameron happily came at his door but promptly received a 'come back later' response from him.

In an attempt to free himself from his anger, he picked up the first thing from his desk and threw it hard against the wall. That thing happened to be a crystal globe that smashed into hundreds of pieces on the floor.

He was totally becoming like his father who would be proud of him if he could see him now. Even if she was the one who chose to resign from her job, he knew he was responsible for it. Things had to stay the way they were before: him in London and her here in New York.

It was his father's fault, his own fault and Rory's fault for always being so damn… _right._ Right was indeed the appropriate word.

"_Logan." She managed to catch him as he was leaving the Yale Daily News. "Your article was really good; I forgot to tell you yesterday."_

"_Ace, you don't have to flatter me. You're already my girlfriend." His smirk made her blush._

"_I'm not flattering you. You really write good, I just thought to let you know."_

"_You're a wonderful person."_

"_Logan, I'm not," she was silenced by a kiss, "kidding." _

"_Okay." He kissed her again._

"_Logan, wait." She pulled back from him. _

"_What?"_

"_You know I'm serious, right? I'm not saying this because you're a Huntzberger."_

"_I hope not." He couldn't help but laugh at her expression. "Hey, I know and I love you."_

"_I love you too."_

Logan opened the second drawer of his desk and pulled out a newspaper. He had never read the article and he didn't even know why he had kept it.

'_Logan Huntzberger, heir to the Huntzberger Publishing Company, caught hanging out with ex-girlfriend from college Rory Gilmore.'_

He couldn't read past that sentence. He knew he was going to find a lot of stupid things written by a person who don't even know them, only pretending he does. He angrily put it back in the drawer.

Why had his life become so complicated because of a girl?

Logan grabbed his coat ready to leave. However, when he opened the door, he saw Rory walking across the hall carrying a large box full of her stuffs. After she took the elevator, he went to her office to check that everything had been taken. He looked everywhere, on the shelves, on the desk, in the drawers until he found something in the last one.

It looked like a photo and when he took it, he immediately recognized the writing on the back of it.

'_I'll see you soon. I love you – Logan'_

He remembered exactly everything regarding that photo. He had gone to New York for a meeting with his father and had stayed there longer than predicted. He had missed her and decided to send her a photo of them together to make up for the absence.

The photo showed he and Rory kissing under a tree in the middle of the wood where the Life and Death Brigade event took place. Finn had taken it, and Logan still remembered Rory chasing his best friend everywhere and threatening him to give her the photo.

Putting the photo in the pocket of his coat, he headed for the door to leave the office when he suddenly heard a loud noise of horns coming from the street underneath.

A box and a person lied motionless on the ground.


	10. The Uncomfortable Aftermath

Logan had never run so fast in his entire life. The sight of her body lying motionless on the street instantly made him forget everything. It took him barely a minute to reach her, and while in the elevator he had managed to call an ambulance.

As soon as he exited the building, he heard an ambulance approaching from a nearby street. He quickly went to her and held her head up waiting for the paramedics. When the ambulance finally arrived, the small crowd that had formed in the meantime around the accident place was told to keep distance.

Logan succeeded in getting into the ambulance with her. In that very moment, he realized how much she really meant to him. He didn't consider her like a normal ex-girlfriend; she was more than that. While the doctor next to him was inspecting her body for any injuries, he gently took her hand in his shaking ones.

She was breathing through some oxygen that the doctor was giving her. Logan felt his heart caught in his throat.

"We're going to the Columbia Presbyterian."

"But the…"

"We're going there."

---------------

"Excuse me, can you tell me where Rory Gilmore is?"

"Gilmore" the nurse said while searching on her computer, "Ah, there she is. West wing, room 204."

"Thank you."

Logan quickly hurried down the hall in search of her room. When he finally found it, a voice stopped him from entering. He turned around and saw a doctor, a file clutched in his hand, looking at him.

"Are you family of Miss Gilmore?"

"I…no, I'm not."

"Then I'm sorry but you can't enter."

"I understand all the hospital policy but I need to know if she's ok."

"I can't share any information with you."

"I came here with her, I was in the ambulance, I need to…"

He knew he was rambling but he didn't care. He just had to make sure that she was ok.

"I'm sorry. Family only."

When the doctor resumed walking, Logan cursed him silently. He found that hospital policy totally stupid. After all, he wasn't asking for much. He just wanted a simple information.

-------------------------

The moment she closed her car's door she heard the phone ringing. Quickly reaching the house, she opened the door and went directly to the phone.

"Hello?"

However, no one on the other end answered.

"Hello? If this is a stupid joke call back later, I've got things to do now."

She was about to end the call when she heard someone's voice on the other end, "Hey, Lorelai."

She was shocked; unable to hung up and unable to form a coherent sentence. She didn't expect to hear from him again, not after what he had done to her daughter. "Logan, to what do I owe the pleasure?" she replied sarcastically.

"I need your help."

"Well, like I said before, I've got things to do."

"It's about Rory." He said the words quickly, afraid that she would hang up.

"Rory? What happened? Is she ok?"

"I don't know." He sighed; he didn't how to handle that phone call.

"What does it mean 'I don't know'? What happened?"

"She had an accident."

"What? Oh my God!"

"I'm at the Columbia Presbyterian right now but they won't let me see her or even tell me anything because I'm not family."

"Thank God you're not."

When Lorelai spoke those last words, both ends were silent. Logan knew that he had hurt Rory and that Lorelai hated him but still, he hadn't expected her to say those words.

"I'll see you here."

Logan hung up and leaned heavily against the wall. He shouldn't be that upset, after all he had lived without Rory for a while. However, hearing Lorelai again brought back memories.

Logan didn't know how much time had passed when he saw Lorelai asking a nurse for information. He didn't reach her; he just stood by the door. When she approached it, he opened his mouth ready to tell her something but she quickly shut him off.

"I'll talk to you later." He knew her threatening voice wouldn't have lead to anything good. He winced when she shut the door hard behind her and then resumed sitting.

After what seemed forever, she emerged from the room and closed the door. She eyed him strangely, as if trying to understand or confirm something.

"What?" he finally asked her, tired of her insistent stare.

"Everything leads to you, huh?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh, come on Logan. We both know what kind of guy you are."

"What are you enquiring?"

"You like partying, hanging out with a different girl every night…"

"Is this pertinent?" he was tired of hearing her telling him the story of his life. Those days were gone and forgotten when he had started going out with Rory, when he became her boyfriend.

"Of course, it is. Have you seen in what condition she's in?"

"No, since I've been denying permission to enter!"

After his outburst, Lorelai kept looking at him.

"Will you stop looking at me like this?"

"Why did you let it happen?"

"Why did I…wait," a sudden realization hit him, "you think I caused the accident?"

"It's always about you. You hurt her since the first day."

"Lorelai…"

"No, don't you dare interrupting me when I'm talking about my daughter's well being." At this, Logan stuffed his hands in his coat's pockets and waited for her to continue. "You were never into a relationship with her, you never cared about her let alone loved her!"

"I loved her!"

"When she cried for you in the bathroom, who was there to pick up the pieces? You've always considered her like a toy; something to use and then throw away!"

Lorelai would have kept on yelling at him if it weren't for a doctor who promptly interrupted her. Muttering a low 'fine' under her breath, she waited until the doctor disappeared and then resumed talking with the blond guy in front of her.

"How did that happened?"

"How should I know? I was in a building when she was hit by a car."

"Hit by a car? Interesting for a guy who didn't receive any information."

"The paramedic in the ambulance told me."

"The ambulance? You were in the ambulance with her?"

"Of course I was. What was I supposed to do? Leaving her alone?"

"Leaving her alone would have been the right choice. You're not in her life anymore."

Logan wanted to add something else but then he stopped. That conversation was getting ridiculous. He didn't want to argue with Lorelai; he just wanted to know how Rory was. Every time he said something, his mind went back to her. He kept on seeing the image of her lying motionless on the street. This was his entire fault; he was the one who caused the accident.

"How is she?"

"You're pathetic."

"Please, just tell me if she's ok."

Ignoring his last request, Lorelai stormed out of the hospital, her phone in hand. She took a moment to breathe the fresh snow air outside. She thought of how she used to love the snow, she certainly hadn't imagined that one day she would have changed her mind. After having told Sookie where she was and that she would have returned to the Dragonfly Inn the next day, she stuffed her cell phone back in her bag and proceeded once again towards the hospital's stairs.

When she exited the elevator at the right floor, she saw Logan still there looking out of the window. His back to her, he was looking at the tender snowflakes falling down.

"What are you still doing here?" her voice was harsh but she didn't care.

Logan turned around slowly and faced her. Her expression almost softened at his sight but then she quickly recovered. He started walking but she didn't stop him; she merely saw him disappear into the elevator.

Her intention was to get back into Rory's room, but seeing him changed her plans. She slowly took a seat on the chair next to her, her gaze fixed on the floor. She had never seen him cry; she couldn't even imagine that he was able to cry. His red eyes shocked her more than anything; however, she knew better than to fall for his tricks.

She thought about entering Rory's room several times but eventually changed her mind. She couldn't get it off her mind.

Quickly catching the elevator, she searched for him in the hall until she caught him at the main entrance of the hospital.

"Is this a joke?"

He kept on walking without turning around.

"Tell me, I need to know."

He didn't reply until she finally grabbed his arm causing him to turn around and face her.

"What do you want me to say Lorelai?"

He didn't even care of wiping his eyes full of unshed tears. He wasn't going to fake; he wasn't going to hide his worry.

"I just wanted to know is she was alright, that's all." She could hear his tears in his voice too. She knew that he was desperately trying not to break down in front of her. She had pushed him too far, guys like him don't cry easily.

Knowing that she wasn't going to add anything else, he left the hospital feeling her eyes on his back.

"Wait."

Logan stopped in his tracks.

"Come with me."

At her prompt, he turned around and silently followed her. They didn't look at each other all the way up to Rory's room. They were both silently absorbed in their own thoughts.

Rory lied motionless on the hospital bed. The only thing proving that she was alive was the steady raising up and down of her chest. So looked so fragile but yet so broken. She didn't deserve to be lying in a hospital bed because of him. He had hurt her since the beginning but at the end, it was her who paid the consequences.

In the meantime, Lorelai was attentively observing Logan's reaction. Apparently he was just looking at her but she knew that something was going on inside his head. He kept on looking at her and eventually went closer to the bed, gently laying his hand on hers.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

Neither of them had heard him enter. However, there he was, looking furious.

"Stay away from her."

Logan let out a bitter laugh and he distanced himself from Rory. He didn't want to argue with Jess because he knew it would end badly. Jess sat down on the bed and took Rory's hand in his. He remained like that for a few moments until he addressed both guests in the room.

"Can I have some privacy?" His wasn't really a question but more an order.

"No." Logan reply came immediately. He didn't have to think twice to utter his decision.

"Excuse me?"

Jess stood up and placed himself in front of Logan, as if trying to scare him. The blond however, didn't seem to be affected at all.

"I'm not leaving you alone with her."

"She's my girlfriend Huntzberger. I don't need your permission to stay with her."

"Are you sure that she's still your girlfriend?"

Lorelai was clearly shocked after Logan's comment. She had no idea what he meant but then she realized that Jess hasn't yet replied. She was so busy insulting Logan about everything that she even forgot to ask him if he had somewhat contacted Rory.

"I won't leave her after a one-night stand with you."

Lorelai was now completely shocked. When did Rory have sex with Logan? How come she hadn't told her? Ok, maybe she did the right thing about not telling her anything, she's a grown up girl, she has her life, she…

"Will someone explain the situation to me?"

Both of them looked at her but then Logan addressed Jess once again.

"You won't or won't?"

"And the difference is?" Logan's question was met with Jess' sarcastic reply.

"You won't leave her because you love her or maybe against her will?"

"I'm sorry, can…" Lorelai attempt at talking again was quickly interrupted.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Why wasn't she with you the last three days?"

Jess was beyond furious but didn't reply.

"What? You're her boyfriend, you should have known where she was."

"I swear to you that if you…"

"If I what? Oh by the way, I noticed the souvenirs you left on her."

Jess finally realized what he was talking about and betrayed himself by looking at Rory. However, her arms were both covered by the hospital gown. Lorelai knew better than to ask for explanations again. She realized that by letting them talk she had discovered nearly everything. That said, the last comment was still unclear to her.

"Get a girl, Huntzberger. I didn't steal Rory from you; you were the one who cheated on her."

"At least I didn't beat her."

Everyone fell silent. Jess was staring at Logan menacingly while the latter seemed totally calm.

No one noticed though that Rory was wide awake and was looking at them.


	11. Through the Good and the Bad Times

"Ok, that's enough. Will someone explain to me what happened?" Lorelai was beyond mad after hearing Logan's statement. "I want to know what happened between the two of you and Rory and I want to… Rory!"

Both boys looked towards the bed the moment Lorelai pronounced her daughter's name. They noticed that she was awake and was looking at them.

"How are you feeling? Does it hurt somewhere? The doctor told me that you would still feel something…"

"Mom!"

"I should call the doctor."

"No, wait." She stopped her mother from standing up and then looked straight into her eyes. "I need to talk to you. Alone."

Rory waited for both Logan and Jess to leave the room to start talking. "What they said before…"

"When did you start seeing Logan again?"

"It's not like that, it's… Look, I've been having problems with Jess. I'm not happy with him."

"Rory, I know that…"

"No, let me finish. I met with Logan last week in London for an interview. He invited me to lunch and some photographers caught us together and journalists tried to make up a non-existent story and then…" She suddenly stop when a hard cough caught her.

"Rory, calm down. You're still recovering."

"Jess saw the photo and he thought that we slept together."

"But you didn't…"

"No, I did not! Is that so hard to believe? I just saw a friend."

"I didn't know you two were still friends."

"Yeah, well, we aren't…"

"Rory, be careful."

"Of what, Mom? What did they tell you?"

"Tell me what happened." Lorelai asked calmly ignoring her last question.

"Jess got mad, he accused me of having slept with Logan and that's why I left."

"You left?"

"I booked a room at a hotel. I needed to stay alone for a while."

"That's it? You just left to think? What was Logan…"

"Logan didn't know what he was talking about."

"Rory…"

"Please leave."

As soon as her mother closed the door behind her, Rory let the tears fall freely down her cheeks. The last days had been far too exhausting and she needed to recover. She wasn't ready to tell her mother everything yet. However, what she seemed to underestimate, was her mother's stubbornness at knowing things, especially those who regarded her.

----------------

"Thank you." Lorelai thanked Logan who had just handed her a cup of coffee.

"You're welcome." He sat in front of her. Anyone could have perceived the tension between them and Logan wanted nothing else than to break the ice. "So, how is she?"

"She's fine, I think."

"Good."

"I need to ask you something Logan and I need you to be honest with me."

"If it's about what Jess said…"

"It's not about what he said, but what you said."

Logan looked at her quizzically. He had said many things back in Rory's room.

"The last thing you said."

"Oh."

"Yeah. Care to tell me about it?"

"Rory didn't?"

"No. She just told me that she left Jess for a few days and went to a hotel."

"I came here a week ago after my father transferred me to the New York office. Two days ago Rory had to finish an article and we had an argument," When Lorelai looked lost, he explained, "about what happened in London. Anyway, we were on the street and all of a sudden she fainted."

"What?"

"Nothing major, she just hadn't eaten all day. I brought her to my apartment and since she was soaking wet because of the rain, I undressed her."

"I understand."

"I had to Lorelai or she would have caught a cold. That was when I noticed some bruises on her arms."

"Oh my God."

"She told me she fell on the stairs, but I could tell otherwise."

"Jess?"

"Honestly? I don't think he beat her he just… I think he got angry over something and gripped her with unnecessary force."

--------------

"Hey, how are you feeling?"

Rory was startled by his voice. She hadn't heard him enter and more importantly, she didn't want to see him.

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm worried about you, I…"

"Stop it."

"Rory, what's wrong?" He went closer to her and tried to reach out to touch her face but she quickly slapped away his hand. He looked hurt but she wasn't sorry for what she did.

"Don't touch me."

"Rory…"

"I don't want to see you Jess. Please, leave."

"I am your boyfriend damnit! What the hell is wrong with you?"

"I don't want…"

"Is this about Huntzberger again?"

"Jess…"

"I forgive you for having slept with him, can't you do the same thing for me?"

"What? You forgive me for what? I didn't sleep with him!"

After her outburst, Rory started coughing hard. She had stressed herself too much; she needed to regain her strength first.

------------------

"What the hell did you tell her?"

Logan didn't have time to reply before Jess' fist hit his face. He stumbled but didn't fall down. Before Jess could punch him again however, two doctors divided them.

"What do you think you're doing?"

Lorelai was now completely angry at Jess. She had never really liked him but Rory chose to stay with him nonetheless. She thought he had changed a bit but apparently he hadn't. From where she stood, she observed Jess being escorted out and Logan in a room nearby.

A faint knock on the door interrupted Rory's sleep. Shifting uncomfortably on the hospital bed, she gave permission to enter.

"Hey, can I come in?"

At first she was shocked to see that he had returned to see her. He was different from Jess; he has always been different. Caught in between memories, her situation came to her mind. She had resigned and he had accepted it without wasting even a second to call another person to substitute her. Logan knew that she was lost in thoughts but still he didn't move.

"Yeah."

He took a seat on a chair next to her bed and looked up at her. She gasped when she noticed the swelling on his face where he had been hit.

"What happened to your face?"

"It's nothing. Your boyfriend has never liked me."

She was angry with him, she had to act angry but yet, the sight of him was too strong against her will. Logan noticed her change of expression. She was now looking closely at his cheek.

"How are you feeling?"

Logan's gentle voice brought tears to her eyes. She missed having him in her life, however every time she thought of her years at Yale, all she saw was his betrayal. She still hadn't got past that and she wasn't sure if she will.

"I'm just sore all over."

Her eyes were sparkling with unshed tears and Logan felt even more worst. He had caused all this; she was suffering again because of him.

"I'm sorry for what happened. I shouldn't have let you walk out of the office."

"You were just doing your job."

"I wasn't." He dropped his head down and looked at his hands. "I wanted to punish you, but not like this."

"I know."

Silence fell between them. Even if she was angry with him, she didn't feel like kicking him out.

"About the resignation thing, I never received your letter."

"Logan…"

"I forced you to resign, Rory."

"Rory, you should have seen…" Lorelai suddenly interrupted herself as she noticed that Logan was in the room.

"I should go," he said while standing up, "think about it."

Lorelai watched him curiously as he left the room and then she started questioning her daughter.

"Think about what?"

"Nothing. It's not important." Lorelai seemed disappointed at being left out of her world. "What were you saying?"

"Huh?"

"Before Logan left."

"Oh, right. You should have seen him and Jess."

"I saw."

"It seems that we always have two guys fighting for us. It's what's special about being a Gilmore girl."

"I guess you're right. Mom, I need a favor."

"Ask away love of my life. Anything you want."

"I'm still not ready to stay with Jess. I want to have some other time alone to think about it."

"Sure, your room is always there, untouched."

"I don't want to go to Stars Hollow. I'll stay here."

"Why? You just had an accident. I'm sure you can take a few days off."

"I'm not dying Mom. I just got hit, that's all."

"That's all?"

"I'll stay in a hotel. It will be better that way."

"You sure?"

"Positive."

"Something else you need to tell Mom?"

"What do you want to know?" Rory smiled at her mother. She was clearly dying to know something.

"He's blond, tall…" Logan's reference couldn't have been more explicit.

"There's nothing between us."

"I wouldn't be so sure."

"We've been apart for months now. He's not in my life anymore."

"He cares about you."

"I know."

"No, I mean. You know I've always hated him but yesterday he really looked broken and worried."

"I didn't think he would have come. You told him I was here?"

"He…wait, he didn't tell you anything?" when Rory shook her head, she continued, "He brought you here."

"What?"

"He stayed outside the entire time and I contributed on letting him out."

Lorelai didn't need to explain it better to Rory for she had already understood it on her own.

"What made you change your mind?"

"He still loves you Rory."


	12. What's Left Of Us

**I'm so sorry for not having updated this story regularly. HS senior year is really hard and takes away a lot of time. Hoping that you're still interested, I post the new chapter. Let me know if you like it or not. Thank you for your reviews!**

When everyone left her alone in the hospital for the night, Rory had the time to think about everything that had happened. However, as hard as she tried to think of something, her mother's last words clouded her mind. _He still loves you. _How was it possible? He _couldn't _still love her. Learning that he had taken her to the hospital was already a shock for her but hearing those words…

------------

"Knock."

"I'm not knocking. You knock."

"Afraid of someone?"

"You're the one who told me to knock first."

"You know you're incredible?"

"Yeah, I've been told that quite a few times in more pleasurable situations."

"Do you want me to knock?" Logan's voice coming from behind startled them both. They let him open the door and then followed him inside. Quietly observing his movements, they understood that something was wrong with him.

Wanting to break the ice, Colin was the first to speak. "Where were you yesterday? We tried to call you all day but you were unreachable."

"I was busy." He answered coldly. He was trying to maintain a distance to have them out of his apartment as soon as possible. He had a lot on his mind and had neither the time nor the envy to talk to them.

"Doing what?" When Logan sent him a death glare, Colin quickly added. "Oh, come on. It's just that you work too much."

"That's not your problem."

"It _is _our problem." Finn got his say in the matter. "We're your best friends."

"Well, it still isn't your problem."

Both boys looked at Logan acting as if they weren't there. Apparently, he was just doing his things but deep inside, he was hoping that they would leave him alone. He had too many things to deal with and talking wasn't an option. However, images of Rory lying on that hospital bed came back to his mind. Even if he knew she wasn't seriously injured, he felt responsible.

Crash.

A loud noise of broken glass could be heard from the living room. Colin and Finn quickly reached the kitchen only to see their best friend hung over the sink, his hands planted on the black marble. Colin was the first one approaching him. He put a hand on his shoulder and felt just how tense he was.

"What's wrong?"

He expected Logan to jerk his hand away from him but instead he managed to reply. "It has always been my fault. My whole damn fault."

"What are you talking about?"

Logan was about to answer when he suddenly realized what he was doing. No, he couldn't tell them. That would make them angry all over again.

"Nothing." He simply said while grabbing a dust cloth to pick up the glass pieces from the sink.

"You have to talk to someone."

"I don't have anything to say."

"Doesn't look so from the way you're acting."

Colin knew it wouldn't be easy to let him talk about something he didn't want to. Logan ignored them once again and kept on pretending to be busy doing other things.

"Does it have to do with yesterday?"

"No." The moment he spoke the word he cursed himself. It was too fast, too obvious and too stupid.

"Logan."

"Why the hell are you still here? I've already told you I don't want to talk!"

"Talking can do you good, you know."

"Since when have you become so wise Finn?"

"Ever since I got an impression that we're losing our friendship."

"It's different now. I have my life."

"You have problems."

"You don't know what you're talking about!"

"Of course not since you're not telling me."

Sighing in defeat, Logan took a seat on the couch and was promptly followed by his friends. He had been treating them bad while all they wanted was his happiness. Colin was sadly right; they _were_ losing their friendship.

"I already know your opinions."

"We're not here to judge you, Huntz."

"You may not now but you will once you know what happened."

Silence fell between them. Logan kept on pondering if he should tell them what happened. They were his friends, but still…

"I was at the hospital."

He did it. He just ruined himself.

"What? Are you hurt?"

"I wasn't the injured one."

"What…"

"Rory." He dropped his head in between his hands. "It was Rory."

Colin and Finn were both silent. They mentally started to imagine what could have happened. That girl was going to be the death of him. They still hadn't got used to him not dating other girls when he broke up with Rory. He had been unbelievably quiet and unexpectedly single.

"What did she do?"

"You mean what did I do?"

"You've been acting weird ever since you met her in London. I thought you got past her."

"It wasn't her fault. I was the one who ruined everything." He didn't need to explain further. They both understood that he was talking about what happened at Yale when he 'cheated' on her.

"It happened. You can't keep on obsessing yourself over that. She's been treating you like crap long enough to make up for it."

--------

"I'm coming."

She quickly crossed the room to open the door. She wasn't expecting anyone and the person she found on the side of the door wasn't who she wanted to see.

"What are you doing here?" She asks coldly.

"Can I come in?"

"No! Why are you here anyway? How did you know I was here?"

"I have my sources."

"Go to hell." She tried to close the door but he succeeded in fighting her back. He wasn't going anywhere whether she liked it or not.

"I need to talk to you."

"I don't."

"Well, I don't care. I talk, you listen."

Angry, she opened the door wider and let him in. The way she shut the door hard emphasized her depreciation in seeing him. However, she won't break him so easily.

"If you're here to talk, then talk. I don't have all night."

"Am I keeping you from something?" Suddenly, he didn't feel so sure of himself as when he had first come into her room. Maybe he was really disturbing her.

"Yes, from my beauty sleep."

Logan fought the urge to laugh right then and there. She hadn't changed a bit; she was still a Gilmore girl.

"Well?"

"Happy Birthday."

She wasn't expecting this. _Happy Birthday. _She could still feel the words lingering in the air. Had he come all the way here just to wish her a happy birthday? She couldn't believe that, she didn't even think that he would have remembered.

"Is that all?"

"Actually no." He handed her a small blue bag that she immediately recognized as Tiffany's. "This is for you."

"I don't want your gifts."

He looked hurt at first after being talked that way. "You can throw it away if you want, but I'm not keeping it. I still don't wear women's jewels, you know."

She dropped her head down and stared at her hands. Logan put the bag on a nearby table and looked back at her. He could tell that her mind was clouded by thoughts.

"Why are you here all alone?"

"That's not your business."

"Rory…"

"Stop it Logan, ok? You're not my boss anymore so I can kick you out of the room without consequences."

"What?"

"You heard me."

"I heard you but maybe _you _didn't hear me at the hospital."

"I did."

"I don't want to lose you." Under another circumstance, she would have liked those words. However, she knew that he meant that he didn't want to lose her as an employee.

"So hard to find someone else?"

"You know it is."

"Well, I don't care. I'm done with you."

"Rory, I'm sorry."

"Do you want to hurt me again? Wasn't what happened enough for you?"

She was right. He kept on hurting her, over and over again. He couldn't expect to make her forget everything with a mere apology.

"I really wanted to forgive you the first time." Her eyes welled up with tears at the thought of their Yale years. "After I left your apartment I returned to Paris' and had to wash everything." Without waiting for his question, she explained. "Everything smelled of you, everything single damn thing. You were everywhere: in the room, on the sheets, all over me. I couldn't get you away from me."

Logan remained silent all the while. He knew that she needed to let everything out and he wasn't going to interrupt her this time.

"I cried myself to sleep that night thinking that maybe I had been too harsh with you. That maybe, just maybe you deserved a second chance."

"What made you change your mind?" He quickly took the opportunity to ask her as soon as she finished talking.

"_You _made me change my mind. Your reputation, who you are. I realized that you couldn't change, that I couldn't make you change or that maybe…"

"Maybe what?"

"Maybe you didn't want to change."

"What?"

"It's true Logan and we both know it. Don't keep on denying the evidence."

"Oh my God, I can't believe you said that. You didn't come back because of that?"

"You cheated on me."

"We were broken… Wait, we're not having this conversation again. You didn't come because of my reputation?"

"Don't sound so surprised."

"Do you think that you've been an entertainment for me all the while we were together? Being girlfriend and boyfriend didn't mean anything to you?"

"Were you really?"

"You've got to be kidding me."

"Answer me."

"Even if I never had a girlfriend, didn't mean I couldn't have one."

"Are sure of it?"

"Do you think that I didn't have a girl the past year because I didn't find one?"

"You attract girls, Logan."

"Everyone but you apparently."

"Don't Logan. I have my life now."

"What life? Where's your supposed boyfriend?"

"He's not my _supposed _boyfriend."

"Really? Then tell me, what kind of boyfriend leaves his girl all alone in a hotel room?"

"I hate you." She surprisingly murmured it silently. With that, she stood up and disappeared into the bathroom. Everyone would have interpreted her behavior as an invitation to leave the room but not him. He wasn't going to run away this time; he was going to clear everything once and for all.

He waited, and waited.

Half an hour had already passed and she was still closed in the bathroom. He started wondering whether he should go and check on her or just sit down and wait some more. The last thing he wanted was to invade her privacy.

He opted for the first option the moment he heard a sound of broken glass coming from inside. He quietly opened the door and found her with both her hands in the sink trying to remove a small piece of glass that had pierced her skin.

"Let me do it."

His voice startled her but she didn't object. It hurt like hell and she didn't have the strength to fight him again. When he gently took her injured hand in his, he noticed that the broken pieces were the remnants of a perfume bottle that once stood over the sink.

The piece of glass was quite small but it had penetrated her skin deep. Her hand was shaking and he had no other options than to hold tighter. He was probably hurting her but that needed to be done. When he succeeded in extracting the broken glass, he put her wound under the cold water before putting a bandage on it.

"Thank you."

He just nodded his understanding and left the bathroom followed by Rory. Much to her surprise, in the small living room she found a medium-size cake complete with a single pink candle and the words _Happy Birthday _written on the whipped cream.

She smiled at the sight but then, maybe too quickly, her smile turned into sadness. They weren't together anymore; she should concentrate on her life. That's why she was in a hotel room.

"Why are you doing this Logan?"

He didn't answer her last question. He couldn't joke about it and bring back that lame excuse that was her birthday. She was obviously not interested in him anymore. They lost themselves that night at Honor's wedding. He lost her the moment he slept with those girls and he lost her even more the moment he confessed that he acted that way out of sadness and loneliness.

Even after a year, she wasn't ready to forgive him. He feared that she would never be.

Back at college, he felt better than others for his playboy reputation, the very same one that brought him from having a different girl every night to not having a single one in a whole year.

He couldn't stress her forever. After all she was right; she had her life, a life that didn't include him.

_It was their first night sleeping together. They had both had an exhausting day and rest was all they could think of. When they got into bed, Rory snuggled next to his warm body. He really felt happy and complete with a girl for the first time in his life. _

_That thought kept him awake two hours before he finally dozed off to her comforting breathing. He held her tightly and protectively all night long; the habit of leaving a girl's room during the night or in early morning was long gone. _

One last thing. He had to give her what was left of them.

"This is yours." The moment Rory took the picture in her hands, Logan headed for the door without turning back. He had managed to blow up this chance too by causing even more damage.

He softly closed the door behind him and left Rory looking at the picture showing the two of them kissing at the Life and Death Brigade event.

She had kept it for a reason, the very same that had just crossed her door.


	13. The Way We Were

Rory, who had been trying to keep everything for herself while denying many things, finally let herself go. She slid against the cold wall behind her, her body wrecked with endless sobs and a myriad of tears fall down her cheeks. How did she find herself in that situation? She had been really happy for the first time in her life and things had quickly degenerated because of one single damn mistake.

She had been harsh on him ever since she met him in London. She had blamed him for everything that went wrong in her life, reminding him every time of what he did.

She hated him, she hated that he was so right. Staying in a hotel wasn't helping. She didn't know how to go on with her life, how to deal with Jess. She cared about him, but still, she couldn't say that she proved the same feelings that she had for Logan.

Logan had managed to render unique her years at Yale. She had grown to like him despite his reputation; he had proven himself to be a nice guy apart from the playboy etiquette.

Her mother was right. He still loved her and what just happened proved it even more.

She kept on punishing him every single time when the one who deserved to be punished is none other than herself. By refusing his love, she had ruined her life and had lost her happiness, a happiness that only Logan Huntzberger had provided. Even if she didn't want to admit it, she had been trying for the past year to find that happiness with Jess but things went differently.

The ring tone of her cell phone suddenly interrupted her thoughts. Sniffling, she took a look at the caller ID just to find out that it was her mom calling. She stared at the screen for a moment before finally answering.

"Hello?" Despite her efforts to hide the tears in her voice, she failed miserably.

"Are you ok hun?"

"Hey mom. Yeah, I'm fine."

"What happened? Is it Jess?"

"No, no. I…I'm still at the hotel. I haven't seen him yet."

"You want me to come by?"

"What? No, no I'm fine, really. You don't need to come. I'm just a little sad, that's all."

"I can tell that you're more than a little sad."

"I'm just stressed. This whole situation is stressing me. But I'll be fine, don't worry."

"You sure you don't want me there?"

"Positive. I'll call you tomorrow."

"Ok. I love you kid."

"Love you too."

When she hung up, she thought about having a shower. However, that thought was quickly abandoned the moment she realized that she didn't have the strength to do anything. She just wanted to fall asleep and then wake up only to realize that that past month was just a dream.

Although she had been asleep for almost five hours, the moment she heard a knock on the door she thought that she had just slept ten minutes. Her head was pounding and she quietly stood up to open the door.

For the second time that night, two unwanted people had come to her hotel room. Only this time, she had a feeling that their conversation wouldn't be a quiet one.

"How come everyone knows where I am?"

"We need to talk." Colin didn't even consider her question. He just pushed the door wide open and entered the room followed by Finn. She turned around and looked at them in disbelief before resigning herself that they wouldn't have left so easily.

She closed the door and took a seat on the couch in front of them.

"Why did you do it?"

"Did what?"

"Why do you keep on hurting him? Are you really that mean of a person?"

"I'm sorry but I wasn't the one who came here with the pretext of my birthday to argue with me."

"You really are mean."

"Will you stop it? You're the one who's been awful to me. We were best friends at Yale and then suddenly you both started hating me."

"You ruined Logan."

"I don't care, ok. If he can't find a girl to sleep with, that's not my problem."

"Back at that I see. After all, you've always been stubborn."

"If this conversation is going to last all night like this, then leave. It's two in the morning and I want to sleep."

"Just so you know there's someone who hasn't been sleeping because of you."

"This is pathetic. He failed and thought to send his friends to talk to me?"

"We came on our own."

"Right, and you just happened to know…"

"He was drunk when he came back twenty minutes ago."

After this revelation, Rory fall silent. She couldn't find anything else to say.

"If he kept on coming back to you, it means that you weren't so clear about your feelings."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You need to end this game of yours. I can guarantee you that he has suffered enough."

"I…"

"Don't let him think that he's got another chance if there is none. Tell him straight away once and for all. We all know what he did and his behavior this past year should make you realize that he is truly sorry."

As much as she hated to admit it, they were right. She had put him through hell ever since the beginning when he truly deserved a second chance. At first she was annoyed at him trying to get back into her life but tonight, when he left without arguing as usual, she felt different. She shouldn't feel like that, after all that was what she wanted, or _thought _she wanted.

--------------------------

The following day, Logan woke up at the loud sound of a thunder. _Great another raining day, he thought. _He tried to sit down on his bed but then he quickly abandoned the idea the moment he felt his head pounding. Damn, he shouldn't have been drinking that way. When he put a hand on his forehead, as if trying to relieve the headache, he realized how hot his forehead was. Of all things, he was also running a fever.

The day just couldn't have gotten better.

Resigning himself that he was stuck in bed for the day, he tried to think of the business phone calls he had to make but surprisingly, he couldn't remember them. His mind was stuck on the only person who's been his constant thought for quite a while.

He had never considered himself a loser. He has always got what he wanted, he was Logan Huntzberger after all, and he _could _get what he wanted. Even in terms of love no one ever beat him, until…

"We'll be back in a couple hours Logan". Even though his door was closed, Logan heard Colin's voice loud and clear. Annoyed by his stupid headache and not-wanted fever, he adjusted the covers tighter against his body and covered his head too.

Colin opened the door and nearly jumped when he found Rory on the other side. He hoped that she would come to clear everything with Logan but he wasn't sure.

"Hey. Is Logan here?"

Without replying, Colin left Rory with Finn and went into Logan's room. He entered without knocking and found himself in complete obscurity. Logan hadn't left his bed since he came home that night and the curtains hadn't been opened.

"Logan, wake up."

Without hesitation, Colin pulled a curtain aside only to be met by his friend's insults.

"What the hell are you doing? Close that!" He kept on angrily mumbling something against the covers that couldn't be fully comprehended.

Not wanting to argue with Logan all day, Colin closed the curtain and turned on the light on the bedside table. The light was dim and Logan didn't seem to mind.

"He's in his room." Colin motioned towards the room, and without greeting her he left with Finn closing the door behind him.

The moment Colin closed the door, Rory found herself all alone in the apartment she once had the chance to see. She knew very well where his room was, as she'd slept there once, but still she didn't feel like letting them know.

She left her bag on the couch and proceeded to his bedroom. The door was closed and she knocked before entering. When she received no reply, she quietly opened it and was met by a dim light surrounded by darkness. At first she thought that he was sleeping but then she remembered that he was just facing a hangover.

She slowly approached his bed and noticed that the blankets were covering his entire head.

"Logan." She waited a moment before gently shaking his covered form. "Logan."

"What…" he stopped himself when he realized who he was talking to.

"Colin told me I could come in here."

Groaning annoyed, he tried to sit up on the bed but his pounding head didn't seem to give him a rest. Rory noticed this and suddenly felt uncomfortable.

"I can come another time."

"No, it's ok. I just need an aspirin."

He succeeded in getting up but found it hard to walk. He would have fall over Rory if she hadn't caught him. She moment she grabbed his arm, she felt how hot he actually was. He wasn't just facing a hangover; he was probably running a fever too. Without too much thinking, she placed her hand against his forehead and her doubts were confirmed.

"Get back in bed."

"What?" he asked surprised.

"You're running a fever, you shouldn't be up."

He had no other options than to lie down since she had also managed to nearly throw him on the bed. He managed to sit down while watching her going and returning from the bathroom with two aspirins and a glass of water in her hand. She handed everything to him and headed to the door.

"Wait." His voice stopped her in her tracks. She turned around just when he was putting the glass back on the bedside table. "Where are you going?"

"You should sleep. I'll be back later."

"I don't need…"

"Yes, you do." With that, she closed the door behind her, leaving him all alone in his room.

Since she hadn't anything better to do, she decided to wait for him to wake up in his apartment. She quietly wandered around the house taking a good look of the place surrounding her. Everywhere she could smell his cologne that was lingering in the air.

In between reading and watching TV, she hadn't noticed that five hours had flown by. After closing her book and stuffing it in her bag, she got up and headed for Logan's bedroom. She quietly opened the door and slowly walked into the room, cautious not to make any sound.

She found him still asleep, tucked under the covers. She had always thought that he looked cute when he was sleeping. Wanting to know if he was still sick or not, she gently placed her palm on his forehead and was relieved to find that he was no longer hot.

"Obsessive much?"

She was so focused on Logan that she didn't even heard Colin stepping in. She withdrew her hand and looked up at him.

"What are you still doing here?"

"Will you lower your voice?" His attitude was annoying her.

"You don't get to tell me how to talk."

"He's sleeping, damnit."

"He can be dead for all I know."

"What?"

Instead of replying to her question, Colin left the room, followed by an angry Rory.

"Why did you…" as hard as she tried, she couldn't say the words. "How can you even…" she couldn't, she just couldn't. She felt tears welling up in her eyes, and then Colin's gaze on her.

"Save me your tears. They won't work with me."

She couldn't believe it. Could he really hate her that much? "He was running a fever, I just let him sleep."

"How very generous of you. Thank you for letting him sleep after a night spent drinking himself to death." His sarcastic voice hurt her more than anything else.

"Would you stop hating me so much? I came here to talk to him but couldn't giving his conditions!"

"You didn't care about his conditions when you kicked him out of your room yesterday!"

They were both so caught up in their arguments and in yelling at each other that they totally forgot that Logan was supposed to be asleep. Their voices didn't go unnoticed by him. Annoyed by their stupid banter, he got up and was met by silence the moment he stepped into the living room.

"What is going on here?"

Rory immediately felt guilty. Even if she knew he wasn't sick anymore, she felt bad anyway. "I'm sorry we woke you."

"You're sorry? Oh, come on Huntz. What the hell are you still seeing in this girl that others haven't?"

Logan noticed that Rory's eyes were swimming with tears. She was desperately trying to fight them back, and when a lone tear fall down her cheek, she quickly brushed it away. Colin, on the other hand, was too focused on yelling at her to notice.

"Leave us alone Colin."

Both his friend and his ex-girlfriend looked at him in disbelief. They were expecting a totally different reaction from him, surely not this one.

"What?"

"You heard me. I need to talk to her. Alone."

Angry, Colin left the apartment, shutting the door hard behind him. Rory and Logan were left alone in the living room. The situation would've been embarrassing if only they weren't so absorbed in their own thoughts. Logan was standing shirtless in front of his ex-girlfriend who seemed on the verge of tears. He didn't know what to do with her anymore; her mood changes were starting to annoying him.

"Why are you here?"

"I need to talk to you."

"What more could there be that you still haven't told me?"

"I wanted to apologize for the way I treated you."

It took a moment to Logan to register what she had just said. Did she just apologize?

"Where is this coming from?"

"I realized that I was wrong. Actually, your friends made me realize it."

"My friends?"

Rory seemed to ignore his question and went on with her speech. "I was wrong ever since the beginning. I hated you for cheating on me and thought that I could find a better guy and move on; but I was wrong. I've been deluding myself ever since I broke up with you, ever since I've been living with Jess. The moment I met you, you changed my whole world. You made me laugh, you made me cry, but you also made me feel loved like I've never been. I screwed up that day and I've been thinking about it every single day since I left you. I wish that day never happened."

Under another circumstance, Logan would have made witty remarks about her babbling; but now her words seemed to have gotten the best of him.

Rory looked up at Logan who seemed absorbed in his own thoughts. She started feeling nervous, as she couldn't figure out what he was thinking.

It seemed like an eternity before Logan uttered his reply.

"I can't do it anymore, Rory."

She felt the world crumbling at her feet. After all, she had no reason to feel like this. She had kept on avoiding him for a long time and she couldn't expect him to go back with her when she wanted to. She couldn't play with him like this; he didn't deserve it.

"I loved you Rory, I really did; but for some reason it wasn't enough for you. You still identify me as a playboy; you can't believe that I changed a long time ago. I changed because it was worth changing, but apparently I was wrong."

That was it.

Colin and Finn were right. She had been hurting him ever since she saw him in London. She wanted to make him pay for what he did, to make him feel a cheater, and she succeeded.

Regret was something she never thought she would feel.

"I'm sorry for what I put you through, Logan."

"I know but that doesn't change anything."

She brought a hand to her face to brush away the tears that had managed to fall down her cheeks. Logan noticed that her hand was trembling and that she was trying not to breakdown in front of him.

Her feelings, however, took the best of her.

All the pent-up emotions, everything she had told him came back to her and she just lost it. She leaned on the only solid thing next to her, the cold wall behind her. Logan watched her body shook by sobs while she was still trying to hide herself from him.

He desperately wanted to take her in his arms and take the pain away. He dreamed of having her in his arms countless times and for her to trust him. Apparently, the latter was still impossible. He didn't know what to do with her. He felt like a young teenager with no experience dealing with the girl he liked.

"Do you trust me?"

At the sound of his voice, she turned around to face him. She didn't reply only because she didn't know what was the answer he wanted to hear.

"Logan…"

"It's a simple question. Yes or no."

"Yes."

"Then trust me when I tell you that we can't do this anymore."

She didn't say anything. He just heard her sniffing back a sob.

"Ever since we met in London we've been hurting each other. I don't like this Rory; I don't want to see you hurt. I've been thinking of that day too you know, but today I realized that the best thing for both of us is to move on without letting the past affect us."

That wasn't how she wanted it to end. There has been no yelling, no screaming, just honest and right words. She hated that he was so right; she hated that she was the one who screwed up big time.

He made his choice; she couldn't force him to change.

Respecting his decision, she grabbed her bag and silently left the room without looking at him. She knew that if she had looked at him for even two seconds, she would have broken down again. All the while, she hoped to hear him calling her name trying to stop her from leaving, however, that illusion faded the moment she exited the building and the only sound was the door closing behind her.

---------------------------

When Rory opened her apartment door she was met by darkness. However, when she closed the door and reached the living room, she noticed that a candle on a table had been lit. She put her bag on the couch and nearly jumped when she felt a pair of arms encircling her waist from behind and a well-known voice murmuring something in her ear.

"Happy birthday."

He instantly felt her froze in his arms. That wasn't how it was supposed to be.

"Jess."

One word from her and the magic was gone. There was no point in continuing this.

He turned the lights on and she was able to see the round table covered in a cream tablecloth and all set. She knew that he had good intentions, but that wasn't her anymore. She couldn't pretend to be happy anymore.

"We need to talk."

"I figured that," he replied sarcastically.

"Jess…"

"Save me your perfect memorized speeches, Rory. Tell me right away that you're breaking up with me."

He got the confirmation that he was right the moment she refused to answer. She looked down, trying to avoid his eyes. She was afraid of what she would have seen there.

"At least tell me why. Is it Huntzberger or I?"

At the mention of Logan, she betrayed herself and looked up at him. He had the right to know; after all she was the one breaking up with him.

"I can't do this anymore, Jess." She spoke Logan's exact words because they said exactly what she was feeling. She wasn't happy and faking happiness was no longer an option. Even if she couldn't have Logan, she won't stay with Jess just to stay with someone.

"So I guess this is it."

"Jess…"

"Save me any pathetic words, Rory. You never loved me. I just wasted my time with you."

"It's not like that."

"No? Then what is it? You stayed with me just because you didn't want to remain alone and all the while you were trying to get him back!"

"I didn't…it…it just happened."

"Yeah, right."

She heard him shutting the door hard once again, only this time it was definitive. Even though she couldn't seem to stop crying, she knew she made the right choice. She didn't love him; she never did. Pretending to care was just an excuse to try to forget Logan, however, she should have known better. Logan had affected her more than she could think; she couldn't get rid of him.

She always thought that she could get back to him anytime, but she was wrong. After all, he had his life just like her, except that he chose not to date anyone since their breakup. He was the only one that showed that he cared; he didn't jump right away in the arms of someone else.

She totally screwed up. She should have given him a second chance; he really deserved it.

-------------------

The moment Colin and Finn got back to Logan's apartment, they find their best friend sitting on the couch absorbed in his own thoughts. He didn't even move when he heard them enter. They didn't know what to do with him anymore; Rory was haunting him and their friendship was slowly falling apart.

Before sitting on the couch next to Logan, Colin put a cup of coffee on the table in front of him but he didn't even move.

"I told her." His voice was quiet and sad; anyone could have understood that it wasn't what he wanted.

Waiting for Logan to continue, both his friends remained silent. They gave him time because they knew that he needed it.

"I told her that I can't do it anymore. You don't have to worry about her anymore."

_You. _What was that supposed to mean?

"Logan…"

"I don't know what you told her but she totally changed. She told me…" he abruptly stopped without going further.

"She told you what?"

"Nothing. It doesn't matter anymore."

Without adding anything else, Logan got up and started walking towards his room. He felt like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders but at the same time he wasn't happy about it. He knew that day would come but he just kept on pushing it away. He was afraid to face reality because it hurt so much. He had never had such problems with girls before; the whole situation was new to him.

Lost in his thoughts, he didn't even notice that Colin was standing right behind him, waiting for the right moment to talk. He hated seeing his friend hurt, and even though he thought that he was better without her, he had to admit that she had really affected him in a way that he couldn't believe was possible. He was his best friend, the least he can do is support him not turn his friends against him.

"What do you really want Logan?"

Funny, he thought, he had been asking himself that very question hundreds of times but still he hadn't been able to answer. Maybe because he was afraid of what his answer would have been or maybe because he was afraid of _her_ answer.

"Listen, if you want to be with her and she wants to be with you, then I don't see where's the problem. You're obviously still in love with each other and forcing yourself to be apart will just hurt you. Forget what I said back in London and here; if you want to stay with her, then it's your choice."

"Why does it have to be so complicated?"

"You got yourself a pretty tough girl, Huntzberger."

"_Okay, fine, I'll be your boyfriend."_

_Logan bit back a laugh at the thought of what had happened earlier that day. She had come into his room issuing an ultimatum and he had surrendered. Well, surrender sounds bad. He wasn't forced; he decided and wanted to surrender and comply with her request. He had never had a girlfriend nor had he ever desired having one, not yet. He knew she was special ever since the first moment he saw her. She had attacked him of having been mean to his friend instead of drooling around him just to get in his bed. _

_She was definitely special. _

_He still couldn't believe that he was her boyfriend. He was happy; he couldn't wait to spend every night holding her and waking up next to her in the morning. _

_He had fallen in love and the feeling was wonderful. _

He couldn't loose her now. They went through a lot of problems and they survived, together. This just isn't the way it should end.

------------------

The place was crowded but surprisingly, he was still able to find a free table. While he waited to be served, he took a good look around him. All tables seemed to be full of couples, happily chatting about some amusing facts and he was probably the only one sitting alone at a table.

He needed a place where to think of what to do next and more importantly of what to say. He didn't want to remain at home and accidentally be disturbed by Colin and Finn. A restaurant seemed like a perfect place for him but he started questioning his decision the moment he saw the people at the tables.

He thanked the waiter that brought him his entrecote with potatoes and resumed his thinking. He couldn't focus, and he didn't even know why. That's when he heard the music in the background playing softly and more importantly, the lyrics.

_There seemed no way to make up  
cos it seemed your mind was set  
And the way you looked it told me  
It's a look I know I'll never forget _

You could've come over to my side  
You could've let me know  
You could've tried to see the distance between us  
But it seemed too far for you to go.

Do you remember...?

Funny how a song seemed to reflect his thoughts. He was sure that both of them rememebered their time together even if they were desperately trying to forget it.

Apparently, they were trying to forget the unforgettable.

He kept on eating while listening at the song at the same time. He looked around him again and this time, his gaze stopped on a girl who was just about to sit at a table. The moment she looked up to talk to the waiter, he recognized her instantly.

No, it couldn't be possible.

He couldn't think of anything else as her eyes locked with his and both of them were lost. Logan noticed that she looked sad even if she tried not to show it.

He decided to break the stare by lowering his eyes back to the dish in front of him. He couldn't think with her sitting a few tables away from him; he just couldn't.

_There are things we won't recall  
Feelings we'll never find  
It's taken so long to see it  
Cos we never seemed to have the time_

_There was always something more important to do  
More important to say  
But I love you wasn't one of those things  
And now it's too late  
_

_Do you remember...?_

Was it really too late?

He never believed in fate or destiny. Those were just stupid things for people who thought they were unlucky. He firmly believed that people and people alone forged their own destiny. However, this time, he was at a loss of words. With all New York City's restaurants, what was she doing there?

He spent the rest of the time thinking about those stupid possibilities that he didn't even realize that she wasn't in the restaurant anymore. He quickly took a look around, hoping to find her talking with someone.

But nothing. She was nowhere to be found.

Without wasting more time, he left some money on the table to cover the bill and got out of the restaurant. The streets were overly crowded for his tastes. He wanted to find her; he _needed_ to find her. He started looking frantically everywhere; he couldn't have lost her, _again_.

A light rain fall upon the city.

He was going mad. How did he find himself in such a situation? Love, it has always been love, ever since the beginning. He was stupid, totally stupid. He should have fought for her the moment that famous problem ensued. He should have done everything possible; nothing was worth losing her.

Just when he was losing all hope, he saw her.

She was walking a little faster as were all New Yorkers because of the rain. He followed her until she turned into a quieter street.

"Rory."

One word and she stopped dead in her tracks.


	14. Written In The Stars

**I'm so sorry for not having updated this story in a long time. HS final exams are taking up a lot of my time. This is the last chapter of this story since I started a post 7.21 fic (rogan, of course!) and I'm currently finishing two one-shots. Once again, I want to thank you all for reviewing, for letting me know how much you like this story. I hope that you're not too angry with me and will take some time to read this last chapter ;) Enjoy!**

Even with the city's noises, she recognized his voice. But no, it couldn't be. He had made it clear to her that he couldn't do it anymore. It had already came to a shock to her seeing him at the restaurant but now… She slowly turned around, and a small part of her hoped that it was her imagination.

However, no imagination had been so real.

There he was, standing right in front of her. He looked at her or more likely stared at her for what seemed like an eternity. Her beauty has always mesmerized him. She, however, took his behavior as a way of not knowing what to say. Annoyed, she turned around and kept on walking.

"Wait."

"What do you want?"

He was temporarily taken aback by her tone. He didn't expect her to reply, let alone in that way, but then he couldn't blame her. He was being ambiguous.

"I'm sorry."

Sincerity could be heard in his voice. That word expressed so much but she still wasn't sure what he meant by it. She didn't even need to ask her question as he promptly gave her the answer.

"I'm sorry for what I told you yesterday, for the way I treated you." He paused momentarily to get closer to her. "I know I hurt you by saying those things but I was angry because you thought that leaving you didn't affect me."

She looked up at him. He was right, she hadn't thought of him. It was like the world was only around her.

"I know I screwed up bad by sleeping with those girls", he saw her wincing at the mention of the event, "but you have to believe me when I say that I love you."

"At first, after you left me, I started thinking that you should have given me a second chance but then I realized that it was _my_ fault. I should have tried harder to get you back; I should have fought for you. I shouldn't have surrendered that easily."

Rory felt tears stinging at her eyes. There he was, pouring his heart out to her, and she wasn't saying anything.

"I didn't mean what I said yesterday; I can do it again but I need you to at least love me again if not forgive me for what I did. I'm still genuinely sorry as I was back at Yale. I know I'm hard to believe given my _previous_ reputation, but I really changed Rory, and I hoped that you would see it."

He stopped for a moment to give her the chance to say something. Her silence was unnerving him because he didn't know what to expect. Yesterday, she seemed willing to get back with him but today, he wasn't so sure of that.

"You still love me?"

He looked at her for a moment before answering. How could she ask him such a question? Why did she think he had been so miserable for the past year?

"Of course I do."

She paused a moment as if considering his answer.

"Do you think we can still do it together?"

Her voice trembled as she uttered the words. Logan gave her his best smile, a smile that didn't need words. He, however, felt it necessary to express his answer verbally.

"I have no doubts."

Suddenly, Rory felt different and she was sure that Logan was feeling the same way. She couldn't believe that they just got back together. It seemed like yesterday that they broke up at Yale; however, more than a year had already passed. She still didn't know how she managed to spend such a long period of time without him.

Logan had been looking at her ever since he had uttered his answer. She was absorbed, as usual, in her thoughts and he thought that maybe she was mentally doing her pro/con list. That thought made him smile and without wasting other time, wanting to feel her closer to him, he enveloped her in his warm embrace.

Suddenly, Rory's mind went blank. Every thought, big and small disappeared. She didn't know whether to blame his cologne, his warmth or his love. It didn't take long for her tears to finally stream down her cheeks.

She had waited, hell, she had dreamed of this moment for so long that all she wanted to do now was loose herself into him. She didn't want to think, she just wanted to stay like that.

Everything was perfect again.

Logan held her tighter the moment he felt her tears. He felt her slightly trembling against him and murmured sweet little words to calm her down. He let her cry; she needed it. A couple of minutes later, when he felt her sobs subsided, he finally pulled away to look at her.

Her eyes were red and puffy from the crying and tear streaks were visible on her cheeks. He heard her sniffling and then trying to brush away the tears with shaking hands. He gently pulled her hands away, preventing her from brushing away her tears.

"I'm a mess," she said with a small voice, still not looking at him.

"You're beautiful." He lifted her chin up and crashed his lips on hers, taking her in a breathtaking kiss. Although he felt her surprised at first, he didn't have to wait long until she kissed him back. He could taste the few salty tears that had managed to have their way down her cheeks.

"I love you, Ace."

She smiled through her tears mostly because of the mention of her nickname than for the declaration of his love. She had missed it and thought that she would never have the chance to hear it again.

They were so lost in each other that they realized at last that the light rain had become a storm. Slipping a protective arm around her shoulders, Logan looked at the street, trying to find a taxi.

A couple of minutes later, they were comfortably sitting in the back seat, their hands intertwined, while watching the outside view.

------------------

When they got to his apartment, Logan wasted no time in giving her something comfortable to change into. They were both soaking wet from the rain and surely didn't plan on catching a cold. After thanking him for the clothes, Rory went to the bathroom and reappeared a couple of minutes later.

When she reached the living room, she found Logan still dressed waiting for her on the couch. The moment he saw her, he quickly stood up and motioned for her to follow him.

He brought her to the room next to his, a room Rory has never been into. She assumed it was the guest room even if she couldn't tell by the size of the bed. The room looked beautiful, decorated in the tones of cream and crimson.

She silently observed every single detail, as the room seemed the presidential suite of a luxury hotel. Although the beauty of the room mesmerized her, she didn't know why he had brought her there. Surely he didn't want to give her a tour of his apartment at midnight.

As if Logan had read her mind, he spoke up. "I thought that considering the situation you wouldn't have wanted to sleep in my bed."

Surprised by his words, she turned around and looked up at him. He was truly sweet and every single moment she kept on thinking how she had let him go long ago.

"No one has ever slept here. I'm sure the bed is comfortable and if you need something, don't hesitate."

"Thank you."

He smiled at her and then went to his room. The moment he lied down on the cold bed, he felt strangely alone. He knew he made the right choice by offering her the guest room but still, a part of him hoped that she would have refused it to stay with him. He had missed having her in his arms, having her next to him and now that they were back together, she was sleeping in the room next to his.

Love can really be cruel sometimes.

To an outside viewer, the situation would have seemed ridiculous. Both of them were keeping on turning and tossing in bed, their minds wandering elsewhere. Rory turned off the light on the bedside table and returned her gaze to the door, situated on the other side of the room. That was when she realized that on the other bedside table, was a picture of Logan's graduation.

He looked happy although not overly enthusiastic. He was dressed in the traditional black cap and gown, holding the diploma tight in his hands. Behind him, the many Yale trees made a wonderful background. She should have been there, she should have congratulated him; he really deserved it.

Knowing that she wouldn't be able to sleep anytime soon, she got up and silently reached Logan's room. The door wasn't totally closed but she couldn't see him through the dark. She decided to push the door open and the moment she got into the room, she caught a glimpse of his body; the covers were covering only half of his naked chest.

The moment she got closer to the bed, she immediately regretted her decision of going there. She shouldn't be there; she shouldn't invade his privacy like that.

"Spying on me?"

Logan's innocent voice startled her as she was leaving the room. She slowly turned around to look at him and despite the darkness, Logan knew that she was blushing. He turned on the small light on his bedside table and his assumption was confirmed. Her cheeks had turned a light shade of pink, the very same of her tank top.

"In Omnia Paratus no more?"

His last question made her smile. The Life and Death Brigade event she took part at had been unforgettable. She still remembered every single moment of it as if it had happened yesterday. It had been like spending two days in a fairytale world, lots of tents surrounded by trees, wonderful dresses and a breathtaking jump.

In the meantime, Logan had sat down on his bed and started patting the space next to him. "Come here."

Hesitantly, she took a sit next to him and promptly looked down at her fingers.

"I'm sorry for before."

"Hey, I don't mind you spying on me," he said it playfully, but apparently she didn't share his sarcasm. She wasn't smiling anymore; her smile had turned into a serious expression. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, it's stupid."

"It's not stupid if it worries you so much."

"I don't know how to say it."

Her tone was making him nervous. A sentence starting in that way had never lead to something good. Rory felt him tensing up next to her.

"I think that we kind of… rushed things." She paused a little, trying to recollect her thoughts and thinking of the better way to tell him all that. "I want this but maybe we should slow things down a bit, I mean it's not like yesterday…"

"You don't trust me." His voice was calm when he uttered the words. No hints of rage or disappointment could be heard.

"I…"

Her constant indecision wasn't making things better.

"If I remember correctly, you were the one who came to me saying that we should have gotten back together."

"I know."

"Then what's stopping you now? The fact that we really got back together? Maybe this isn't what you want."

"Stop putting words into my mouth. This isn't what I'm saying."

"Then what is it? I don't understand because you're not saying anything."

Rory fell silent once again and Logan didn't know what to do anymore.

"If sleeping here makes you uncomfortable, then you can sleep at your place. I've waited more than a year for you Rory and I'm not giving up now."

"I don't want you to wait anymore."

Logan didn't understand what she meant by that.

"I never asked you what happened with Jess."

He felt her body tense up when he pronounced his name.

"I broke up with him."

Logan tried to search for any hint of regret in her voice but found none. If Jess wasn't the problem, then what was it? He thought of trying his luck.

"You know I would never cheat on you, Rory." The moment he said that sentence, she looked up at him. "I love you and I would never hurt you."

Logan had been nervous ever since she had come in his room. Her constant silences kept on worsening the situation. He had dreamed of getting back together with her so many times he had lost count. However, he hadn't thought of the possibility that once together, she may reevaluate their relationship.

A couple of minutes later, Rory left Logan's room without uttering another word. She quietly made her way back to the guest room where she was staying and once safely inside, she allowed the tears she had been keeping to fall down her cheeks.

Why was she being like that? Wasn't that what she wanted?

------------------

Logan woke up in a bad mood the next day after having slept for only a few hours. He clearly remembered everything that had happened the previous night. Since she didn't explain to him what was going on inside her head, he intended on finding out that morning.

The clock on his bedside table signaled that it was eight o'clock. He got up, put on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt and headed for the kitchen. In there, he prepared a rich breakfast made of pancakes, croissants, marmalade, orange juice, milk and lots of coffee, of course. He placed everything on the table and then decided to go check on her to see if she was still sleeping.

When he reached the guest room, he quietly opened the door careful not to make any noise, only to be met by darkness. He approached the bed and was surprised to see that it was empty.

She wasn't there. She had already left.

Quickly, he turned the lights on and inspected the room for some kind of note. However, the search turned out to be unsuccessful. She had left nothing, except for the clothes he had given her the night before to sleep. Sighing, he sat on the unmade bed, while pondering his options.

He wanted to be with her but she was acting strangely. Something was clearly bothering her and he hoped that she would talk with him and give him the opportunity to help her.

---------------------

"I didn't expect you so soon Luke, I thought you said that…"

Lorelai had started talking the moment she heard her doorbell ring but when she opened the door, she found someone who was definitely not Luke on the other side.

"Hey, mom."

Her expression changed immediately. She didn't waste any time in letting her daughter in and as soon as she closed the door, she started questioning her.

"What happened? Are you ok? Whose ass should I kick?"

Lorelai started worrying the moment she saw that Rory wasn't laughing at her questions. Something had definitely happened and she was sure that it was a serious matter.

"I don't even know where to begin."

"Don't worry hun, just take your time. I'm not going anywhere."

She took a seat next to her daughter on the couch and observed her attentively.

"Something happened with Logan," Lorelai wanted to say something but then the name Rory said next stopped her. "and Jess." Rory paused for a moment while trying to recollect her ideas. There was a lot to be said and even if she didn't feel like to, she had to say it. "I broke up with Jess."

Lorelai didn't object there. She had never said anything before because she thought that her daughter was happy with him but after Logan's revelation at the hospital, she started hating him with all her heart and wished that Rory would leave him.

"Logan and I talked and we sort of… got back together."

"What does it mean sort of?"

"I don't know. I mean he showed up at my hotel room with a cake and a present for my birthday to declare his love for me, then I kicked him out, then Colin and Finn came to me, then the next day I went to Logan's apartment to talk but he was running a fever so I waited. I told him that I regretted what happened back at Yale but he said that he couldn't do it anymore. And then I accidentally met him in a restaurant and afterwards we spent half an hour talking under the rain and he kissed me and told me he loved me and…"

"Whoa Rory slow down."

Rory stopped the moment her mother spoke and looked down at her intertwined fingers.

"From what I understood, a lot of things happened but then you got back together. The only problem is that I don't see where's the problem."

"I'm not sure of what I'm doing."

"Not sure of what you're doing or of what you want?"

At this last question, Rory looked up at her mother with enquiring eyes.

"You spent great times with the boy from what I remember. You said that you regretted your decision of leaving him at Yale and since he still loves you too, I think that you should be happy."

"I'm scared."

"Scared of what?"

"That he'll leave me. That he'll cheat on me. That…" She was on the verge of tears and stopped herself before breaking down completely. Even if she was with her mother, she felt stupid for bringing that problem up and even for having gone there.

"Hey Rory, look at me." When her daughter's eyes locked with hers, she kept on speaking. "Logan made a mistake but he's obviously sorry and I think that you should give him another chance." Rory looked down again and Lorelai thought that she was considering it. "When you were at the hospital, I tried so hard to make him leave but he remained nonetheless. He was really worried for you."

Lorelai took Rory's hand in hers. "You were never this upset with Dean or Jess. It is clear that you love Logan. Don't ruin your life just because you fear that he'll make another mistake. You should give him a little credit and more importantly, trust him."

"I think it's all ruined now." She allowed a few tears to fall down.

"Why's that?"

"I… I slept at his place yesterday and then this morning I left without saying anything, without even leaving a note. I'm a horrible person."

"You're not a horrible person sweetie. Go back to him and explain him the situation. He'll understand."

"I don't know."

"Where's the daughter I know and love? You never let yourself brought down by something stupid, and _this_ is clearly a stupid reason for not doing anything."

----------------

Even though she had left Stars Hollow at ten o'clock in the morning, she waited until eight in the afternoon to go back to Logan. She wanted to go there sooner but she had to think. She had to know for sure that she was making the right thing. She had considered everything; her pro/con list had helped her as always.

She knocked lightly on the front door and waited a couple of minutes before someone finally opened it. Strangely, she wasn't surprised when she saw someone other than Logan opening the door.

"Here she is."

Finn opened the door wider to let Rory in. The moment she stepped in the living room, she saw Logan sitting on the couch with his head in between his hands and Colin sitting next to him. When Colin saw her, he lightly smacked his friend's arm; as a result, Logan looked up at the visitor.

Rory couldn't help but think that he looked like hell. His eyes looked tired and she could tell that he hadn't left the apartment. The moment he looked at Colin, this one stood up and left the apartment along with Finn without saying anything.

"What were…"

Rory's attempt at talking was quickly interrupted by an angry Logan.

"Where the hell were you?"

"I…"

"Tell me right away without babbling as usual!" He could see the hurt in her eyes as he said the last words. "I've been worried sick all day! I've left you tons of messages on your voicemail but you hadn't thought of calling me back!"

"I'm sorry."

"The hell you are!" Logan couldn't take it anymore. He had to tell her exactly how he felt without hiding his feelings anymore. "You seem surprised at my reaction. Do you think that I don't care about you? That I don't give a damn on where you are?"

"Logan…"

"You came to my room last night and then you left without letting me understand what was your problem. I told you that I can wait and I stand by my position but I need to know what's wrong with you. We can't be in a relationship if you don't talk to me."

Rory looked at him and saw his eyes clouded by hurt. He was right; she thought that he didn't care where she was, she hadn't thought that he would care this much. She was keeping on underestimating him and not trusting him.

"I went to Stars Hollow to see my mom," she paused a moment when she felt her heart caught in her throat. "I left her in the morning but then… I wandered around, I needed to think."

"You… God…"

"I came to your room yesterday because I was feeling lonely and I wanted to stay with you. But then, when I saw you, some memories came back to my mind and I freaked out. I know I acted childishly but I was afraid."

"Of me cheating on you," Logan said in defeat. He wasn't addressing her; he was merely talking to himself.

"I'm sorry."

"At this point I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know what to do or say to prove to you that I won't cheat on you. But I guess it's useless now; you've already set your mind."

He shrugged and left towards his room, shutting the door hard behind him. Rory remained all alone in the living room, wondering what the hell was going on with her. She was making him crazy, she kept on changing mood and he didn't deserve it. Last night, she feared that Logan may cheat on her but today, she changed her mind and finally felt ready to trust him.

Why did she hesitate again?

"It's open."

She entered his bedroom and found him standing right in front of the window, staring at the outside sky. She moved closer to him, until they were right next to each other.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It's my fault we got to this point."

His voice was filled with regret and it succeeded in making her feel guilty.

"I should have given you a second chance. I won't make that mistake again." While talking, she had managed to take his hand in hers and squeezed it tight. "I'm sorry for what happened today. I _do_ know that you worry about me."

Without any warning, she captured his lips in a sweet kiss. Although surprised at first, Logan didn't waste any time kissing her back. He replied with a rough kiss that made her want more. While kissing him, Rory started unbuttoning the buttons of his black shirt, and felt him shiver the moment she touched his naked skin with her fingers.

Her touch seemed to have broken him out of his trance and he quickly stopped.

"What? What's wrong?"

"Are you sure about this?"

Instead of verbally replying to his question, she captured his lips once again in a rough kiss. However, that didn't seem to be answer enough for him because he promptly pulled away.

"Rory."

"I want this. I want you."

Those words were enough to drive him wild. He pulled her closer to him and attacked her neck, leaving wet kisses on the spot. He gently sucked on her pulse point, the gesture made her moan his name. The moment he heard it, he lost that bit of control that still was in him and started freeing her of her shirt.

They kept on kissing hungrily, as if trying to recover from lost times. She was so involved in the kiss that she didn't even realize that Logan had brought them closer to the bed. She gasped in his mouth when she felt his hands undoing her pants. She let him do whatever he wanted, and then she felt her pants sliding gently along her legs. Once out of them, she allowed Logan to push her on the bed and to position himself on top of her.

In one swift motion, he got rid of his pants too and started exploring every inch of her body. He kissed the spot between her breasts and felt her skin burning underneath his. In the meantime, Rory was exploring his back and his perfect chest with both hands.

Logan moved his hand to her left breast and was surprised to feel her heart beating so fast.

"Hey, relax."

She looked up at him, confused at first but then she understood what he meant. She suddenly felt hotter and the amused look on Logan's face told her that she was clearly blushing. He attacked her neck once again as he slid his hands under her body to undo her bra. Once he had thrown away the lingerie item, he turned towards her and found her hands covering her naked breasts.

"You're beautiful."

He gently parted her hands away and that's when he lost control completely.

-----------------------

Rory groaned annoyed as she heard the phone ringing. However, it took her a moment to figure out that it was her cell phone. She looked on the bedside table and sighed the moment she saw it wasn't there. She tried to get rid of Logan's arm around her stomach but when she made the slightest move, he tightened his grip on her.

The gesture made her smile. She remembered how they used to be when they were together. She could feel his hard chest against her back and his light breathing on her neck.

The insistent ringing of the phone interrupted her thoughts. She didn't want Logan to wake up, so she tried to get free of his arm. His grip was tight but at last she succeeded and when she got up, she covered his cold exposed body.

She nearly fell on their clothes sprawled on the floor when she tried to reach the door to leave the room. The phone was still ringing and she couldn't imagine who was calling.

"Hello?"

"Oh, so you're alive."

"Mom? What is it?" she said tired, yawning at the end.

"Didn't sleep last night?"

"What?"

Rory was struggling to remain focused and her mother could tell that too.

"Rory, are you awake?"

"Yeah."

"Where are you?"

"I'm… I'm at Logan's."

"Oh, oh! So it's the boy's entire fault. He kept you up all night!"

"Mom."

"So, I assume that the make-up sex went pretty well."

"Mom! Stop it!"

"Why, sweetie? You know you can talk to me."

"I'm won't talk to you about my sex life."

"Oh, come on." Lorelai paused for a moment but when she heard no reply on the other side, she thought of changing subject. "At least tell me if everything's ok now."

"It is."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I am."

"Rory?"

"What?"

"Still sure you don't want to tell me about your night adventures?"

"Mom, please! I'm not… listen, I'll call you back later. I don't want to wake Logan."

After exchanging their goodbyes, Rory hung up and when she turned around to go back to the bedroom, she found Logan leaning against the doorframe, smiling at her.

"Did I wake you?"

"The bed suddenly felt cold." He closed the distance between them and placed a light kiss on her lips. "Thank you for not talking to your mother about the sex. It would have been embarrassing for me."

"Embarrassing? Why's that? I thought you liked to emphasize your abilities in bed."

She regretted her words the very moment she said them. Logan's expression turned sad but then he recovered.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that."

"I know. Let's go back to bed."

They had just made it till the bed when they heard someone knocking on the door. Groaning loudly, Logan headed for the door. Rory, on the other hand, went back to the bedroom where she put on Logan's black shirt to cover her underwear.

The moment Logan opened the door, Rory appeared behind him, wanting to see the unexpected visitor.

"Who's there Lo…" she stopped herself when she saw Colin standing on the other side of the door. She suddenly became conscious of her state of undress. There she was, standing in front of him half-naked, covered by Logan's shirt.

Logan looked at her and then at his best friend. Colin had an expression he couldn't decipher. Feeling enough embarrassed, Rory went back to the bedroom and left the two boys alone.

"Aren't you going to come in?"

"Actually I didn't know that you and… I thought you were free."

"Well, things changed."

"I noticed."

Logan kept on looking at his friend, trying to predict his next move. However, nothing came. No yelling, no screaming, no telling him to be careful with her. Nothing at all.

"Your silence is scaring me," Logan said, noticing his friend in deep thoughts.

"Why's that?"

"You know what I'm talking about. You're strangely quiet."

"Are you happy?"

His question caught him off-guard for a moment. He wasn't expecting him to ask him such a direct question. He then realized that by thinking, he was delaying his answer and that didn't make him sound convincing to his friend.

"I am."

"Then I'm happy for you."

"You're… what?"

"Oh, come on Logan. Don't sound so surprised. I'm your friend, it's not unusual to be happy for a friend."

"Ok, now you're definitely scaring me."

"What do you want me to say?"

"You're really happy that I got back with Rory?"

"You're being annoying, Logan."

Just then, Rory emerged from the bedroom again, this time wearing a pair of sweats along with Logan's shirt.

"I hope that now we can go back to being friends again."

Colin didn't move from his position. He just looked up at her the moment she started talking.

"I know I hurt Logan and we… cleared things up. I just don't want you guys to hate me." Her voice trembled as she spoke the last two words. Silence lingered in the air and they all waited for someone to break the tension.

"I don't hate you, Rory. I never did."

"But…"

"We were just angry for the way you treated Logan." At the mention of his name, Logan looked down, suddenly feeling exposed. "It was clear since the beginning that he really cared about you but you didn't seem to mind. Anyway, I'm happy that you're back together. You look happy."

She just nodded at his affirmation; she couldn't think of any other words. After setting up with Logan a date on which they will all have dinner together _just like old times, _Colin left the apartment.

"What's wrong?" Logan asked her worried.

"I… should I come?"

"Of course you will come. We'll all be together once again, like college days."

However, that didn't seem to cheer her up. She looked on the verge of tears and Logan didn't know what to do or say to make her feel better. He gently caressed her cheek and she reveled in his touch.

"Don't worry about them. You'll be fine, I promise you."

She nodded. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For loving me again."

"I never stopped loving you."

"_Thank you for tonight. Dinner was perfect."_

"_I'm glad you enjoyed it, Ace." Logan chuckled. She was the first girl who thought of sincerely thanking him for dinner. Usually, the girls he had been with only looked forward to the end of the evening. _

"_I was wondering…"_

"_Yes?"_

"_Since tomorrow's Saturday and we don't have classes, I could…"_

"_What?"_

_She looked up at him, suddenly feeling unsure about what she was trying to say. She wanted it but still, she didn't know if it was an appropriate thing to say. _

"_Ace?" He stared at her with enquiring eyes, trying to understand what she was so afraid to ask. _

"_Can I sleep at your place?"_

_Logan didn't immediately answered; instead, he smirked at her. He knew he was making her nervous but still, he found it sweet that she was blushing after what she said. _

"_If you wanted to sleep in my bed all you had to do was ask."_

_At his comment, Rory blushed even more. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have…" Her words were cut off by his lips taking her in a gentle kiss. _

"_I want you to spend the night at my place, regardless of whether tomorrow's Saturday or not." _

_She smiles at him and after allowing him to take her hand in his, she followed him to his dorm. _

---------------

"Do you remember when she started stalking him?"

"Oh, come on. Do you really have to bring this up?" Logan asked while laughing.

"Of course he has too." Colin was laughing so hard that he had trouble talking. "You should have seen him Rory, he was terrified."

"I bet he was."

Despite talking about a girl who stalked Logan for two months, Rory suddenly felt complete and happy. They were all together: her, Logan and their friends. They weren't just together; they were laughing, talking to each other, everything was back to normal again. She was happy and Logan noticed the way she was looking at each one of them. He grabbed her hand under the table and squeezed it.

She looked into his eyes, and saw them sparkling with love and happiness.

"And to end the evening with a wonderful quote…" Colin looked at Logan, who looked alarmed. He didn't know what his friend would have told and that made him somewhat nervous. "When we told Logan to move on," Rory looked down, as if remembering the past, "he told us that he couldn't because your love was…"

"Is this important?" Logan said, feeling blush creeping his cheeks.

"This isn't the end to the quote, Rory," Finn felt the needed to point it out.

"I figured it wasn't."

"Come, Logan. You can't make a lady wait."

"Oh, so you suggest I embarrass myself further?"

"That wasn't embarrassing. That was romantic."

Logan would normally have justified Finn's comment by saying that he was drunk. However, this time, his friend was strangely sober.

"Written in the stars."

"What?" Rory asked perplexed.

"I said that our love was written in the stars. Cheesy, I know, you can start mocking me now."

He remembered having spoken those words. He also remembered that he didn't say it just to say something; he really meant it. She was the only girl he had ever loved.

Rory was looking at him surprised and the thought of adding something else to justify what he had said was cut off by her gently placing her lips over his. He didn't waste any time in kissing her back, while pulling her closer to him.

"I love you, Logan."

He waited a moment for her words to sink into his memory once again.

"I love you too, Ace."

_When I look at my life  
How the pieces fall into place  
It just wouldn't rhyme without you  
When I see how my path  
Seem to end up before your face  
The state of my heart  
The place where we are  
Was written in the stars_


End file.
